Hardly a week passes by without me not remembering the first psychiatrist I went to in order to get my gender dysphoria diagnosis.
One of the first things she said to me was to ask whether I'm sure if I'm a woman. Maybe I'm "just a very feminine gay man".
For real, I still joke with my wife - that I'm very lesbianly in love with, I can't stress strongly enough how much of a stereotypical dyke I am - about how feminine of a gay man I am.
She questioned why me, a person in my thirties that was almost completely bald due to unfortunate genetics, was presenting fully masculine, beard and everything, if I was so sure.
When, in the effort to say something so over the top ridiculous nobody who's professionally dealt with trans people could treat seriously I joked that she can't be the worst medical professional I've met because at least she doesn't believe AGP is real, she said with utmost seriousness that she has patients suffering from that.
She asked me about dysphoria. She questioned everything I said and asked me how I knew it was dysphoria. She accused me of being vague when I talked about complex kinds of dysphoria, and of reciting stock phrases when I talked about conventional transphobia. A real Morton's Fork type of situation, huh.
She questioned my need to transition despite me telling her straight up that I can't bear living like this anymore.
During our first meeting she strongly implied that getting an assessment from a psychologist, something that is indeed a major thing in getting diagnosed in Poland, was the important thing and further implied that a diagnosis from her was then basically a formality.
When I surprised her and came to the second appointment with a detailed, professional assessment in hand showing that I was pretty much a textbook example of a woman, she backtracked and said "I believe that you're a woman. But I'm not going to give you a diagnosis".
When I,shocked and on the verge of a breakdown, asked her why, she claimed to be afraid of me taking it badly if my expectations are too high and confronted with underwhelming reality of HRT. She said she didn't think I could emotionally handle that, with my depression and so on.
I'll note that my expectations were both modest and realistic AND stated in a level headed way. And she knew by then that my depression and my various serious mental issues were demonstrably due to my dysphoria and despair of living as a man.
She recommended that I go to therapy for a minimum of one year. "Then we'll see".
I'll note that this was a judgment call not in line with the usual procedure here in Poland, which by itself is conservative and cautious.
The only real criterion for gender dysphoria is basically the patient saying they have dysphoria. Not my idea, it's how it works here.
So she decided to withhold what she professionally thought to be a correct diagnosis based on her own decision that I couldn't handle...
*checks notes*
...being treated for my problem.
I'll note that the next psychiatrist I went to pointed out (correctly) that getting someone on HRT is not the result of the diagnostic process. It's part of the process. There's one way to know HRT and that's to take HRT. Duh.
Said doctor has 40+ yerars of experience in trans care, so he's not exactly making wild, unproven claims and is himself quite conservative.
Here's the punchline:
THAT INCOMPETENT WOMAN COMES HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR GETTING A DIAGNOSIS BECAUSE SHE'S AMONG THE LESS BAD.
And cis people still claim it's too "easy" to transition.
Sure, Jan.