Me: Sits down with book.
Six Goddamned People: "Whatcha reading? I'd like the full synopsis from the back, where you're at in the story, all of the background information leading up to why you just chuckled, and the ISBN off the top of your head.

My newest pet-peeve is when I'm CLEARLY a few pages from the end of the book and people want to get all chatty.

Yesterday at the beach I actually said; "Fuck off or I'm holding you under yonder water until the bubbles stop" while indicating pages.