look, I know most people's ideologies get mixed up with identity and "belonging"
So growing out of certain beliefs… is always painful, especially when you realize they have contributed to harming others.
But the hour is late, and pretty much all US "intelligence" agencies have long contained fascist elements,(eg: overthrown democratically elected govs, and spied on social justice folks). That Trump's loyalists are running them now is an opportunity to re-evaluate the entire "need" for them.