@vees

I answer the phone with "Alligator Control, how may I help you?"[1] which usually stops people who don't know me in their tracks. 3:O)>

[1] A holdover from when I did Tech Support and knew that if it was $Dayjob I was about to be up to my ass in alligators very shortly. This response is now set in stone (unless I recognise the caller-ID).

As someone noted on ASR, back in the day: "What we really need is Caller IQ.".