At my most recent session with my occupational therapist, I heard myself telling her that one of the reasons I'm struggling to draw is because it's so soothing and comforting and although I know it's not rational, I'm scared that "it will stop working" so I just don't do it.

Thinking about that, I realise how often I do this. I have my self-care and self-regulation strategies in place, but I don't use them because I'm scared they won't work and then what?

So I've been trying to stop doing that. Am drawing, listening to my favourite music playlist, reading, writing.

#ActuallyAutistic #Anxiety

@Zumbador Me too. If they were fueled purely by endorphins from success, they wouldn’t get far. But when it comes from the heart & empathy, it keeps going and strives to improve. She is ready to try again. ❤️

Today at the SPCA I walked Roxy, Opal, and Rocket. I wanted to walk Bouncy but she wasn't in her kennel. According to the note on her board, she's going to be adopted! This is awesome news, I'm so happy for her. The reason she's not in her kennel is probably because she's getting sterilized. I was worried about her, she's such a handful, a high energy dog, not always easy to find a home for.

Opal is so much better! She didn't even hide when I went into her kennel today, she was just happy to see me. You can see it in the photos (she's the one with the eyebrows). She's also getting adopted. I'm not at all surprised, she's a very easy, gentle dog, and also, quite pretty.

Rocket is the one who looks like a felted animal. He's just a goofball.

Roxy did well too today, we had fun running around together, working on the agility equipment. Maybe next week, she'll have the red "applied for" note on her board as well...

#dogs #SPCADiary

#Dog #Dogs #DogsOfMastodon #DogsOfFedi #DogsOfPixelFed #Dogstodon #PetLife #MastoDogs #FediDogs #Pet #Pets #Niki #dopic
#dogslife #Chihuahua

I was just getting used to the idea that Twyla and Zen would be with me for the long haul, and today I got a message the there's someone who wants to adopt them.
He has one lonely rat (her friend died recently) and she needs some company. I don't know how much longer they'll be with me. Apparently he's a very good and careful rat owner so they'll be well taken care of. But it is a bit of a wrench!

#RatFosterDiary #rats

Latest read: "Convenience Store Woman" by Sayaka Murata.
I loved this book. It's translated from Japanese, quite a short book about a young woman who is completely fulfilled by her work in a convenience store.

She seems very autistic! A lot of sensory detail and descriptions of masking as she figures out how to seem normal. It's tonally very odd, seeming very quiet and almost cozy, and then boom, there's be something really disturbing.

It ends a bit abruptly but that seemed in character, as it were.

#booktooter #amreading #ActuallyAutistic

The small animal rescue org I foster rats for had a table at a community market this Saturday. At a community hall in Milnerton. I spotted this intriguing "Dance Floor Etiquette" poster. Apparently they hold monthly LGBTQ+ dance events here! Known as the Gat Party. I've put the text in the ALT text, but some highlights:

The outer rectangle includes the notes "Do not back up, do not dance across the flow, keep a lookout for other dancers" and "These dancers have the right of way, however, they should not cut through the center", "Dance is in a continuous forward movement", "If you wish to Dance Swing or Non-Line of Dance, Go to Center" and "Foxtrot, Waltz, Two-step, polka, quickstep".
The central rectangle is labeled "Floor Center" and includes a list "Salsa, Rumba, EC Swing, WC Swing, Cha cha, Nightclub, Hustle, Line Dance, Bachata, All Stationary Dances"

This sounds awesome.

Had a "craft chat" session with two friends, each of us working on our own creative project while talking about the state of the world, movies, books, and moss.

It was good.

This is the drawing I did. Am going to add colour to it now.

Yay! My work is making me do a 5 hour induction course *again*, about the job I've been doing for more than a decade. Someone got paid to make many looooooooooooooooong videos about "our mission and values", and then set up multiple choice tests. Got to detox myself from corporate bullshit speak after one hour of this so far.

Today's drawing

Today at the SPCA I walked Bouncy and Roxy, and sat with Matty and Opal. There were three other volunteers also walking creating a traffic jam so I decided to just sit with Matty and Opal in their kennels.

Opal seemed to remember me and was not as scared as she was last time. She let me cuddle with her for a while, but when I left her kennel without taking her with me as I usually would, she expressed her surprise and protest with one single bark. (Opal is the one with the eyebrows)

Bouncy did really well. I continued with her training, using a rope toy to get her over the A frame, and also to stop jumping up and nipping. I get her in drive with the toy then tell her to let go and sit. The game only continues if she listens.

Roxy learnt to go over the A-frame with only one demonstration! She's a very clever girl.

#dogs #SPCADiary

Got to get these little babies adopted, so I did a glamour shot for the small animal rescue org's social media. Stuart and Dipsy ate a large amount of yogurt drops as I tried to get non-blurred photos of them! Also some videos.

Stuart: https://youtu.be/uR3O9c0SlSk?si=Kimw3Co_XYvXzgtG

Dipsy: https://youtu.be/4b4caFTWnb4?si=kpaWY6s-XNPJdd4c

They're going on an adoption event this Saturday, so a good chance they'll find their forever homes.

#rats #RatFosterDiary

We're about to have a massive xenophobic anti immigrant demonstration here in South Africa tomorrow. There's a high chance that there will be violence.
I've seen people saying they're letting their workers come hide in their houses just in case things go bad. Or coaching one another on how not to be mistaken for a foreigner.
Where I am in Cape Town it's unlikely to kick off, but elsewhere in the country it's going to be bad.
It's so disappointing to see people repeating xenophobic talking points on social media.
Is there any awareness of this news outside of South Africa?

Just occurred to me. Are there any "grumpy & sunshine" romance books where the it's not grumpy man and sunshine woman?
Any other combination?

I know Pride Month is almost done, but if you're still looking for some queer books to add to your TBR pile, pop over here for a collection of Trans books on discount, including my own: https://books.bookfunnel.com/transbooksforpride/myxe4mxzw3

#queerbooks #transbooks #bookstodon

Something else that happened at the SPCA today while I was walking Opal: as I was crossing an open grassy area on the way to the dog run, someone shouted "gate!"

A small black dog had gotten loose and was running around. Luckily it was Opal I had on leash and not a more difficult dog.

I was able to get to the gate and through it, and close it just in time, before the loose dog ran through.

The man chasing him was able to scoop him up.

That gate leads to the area where the horses are, and past that a motor gate to the road so it would have been bad if the dog had got through!

#SPCADiary #dogs

Today at the SPCA I walked Bouncy, Roxy and Opal.

I spent an hour working with Bouncy, training her not to jump up on me. She loves playing tug with the rope toy, so she's only allowed to do that if she sits first, and lets go on command. I got absolutely soaked as the grass was wet and she still jumps up a lot.

Opal (in the picture) was so scared of me she hid in her kennel, and only came out when I threw her some treats. She'd snatch them and go hide again. I was wondering if I'd ever get close to her, when she just suddenly decided to trust me. It was like throwing a switch, from cowering in terror to pressing herself against my leg. She just decided I was ok.

There are cows in the field next to the dog run, one of them had very recently given birth. Possibly last night? The calf is still tiny.

I only just found out that the donkey that hangs out on the other side of the fence is called "Wilbur the Tap Dancing Donkey"

#SPCADiary #dogs

After a very long break, managed to do some drawing today

With all the recent notions of art being replaced by machines, I'm reminded of this wonderfully gentle comic by Lynda Barry.

#Art #Artwork #Artist #WomensArt

I'm restoring my parents' wedding album. I've looked at it many times but this is the first time I noticed that the interleaving paper has a pattern of spiderwebs featuring multiple spiders and flies.

You can only just see them.