Can we just pretend I posted a bunch of interesting toots that you’d like to boost? Or maybe we can pretend some of my old toots are new and you can boost those? We never do that.

This isn’t the post you were looking for. It’s not funny, interesting, or artistic. It’s not a distraction from what’s going on in the world, or your world, or an exploration of worlds. It doesn’t rhyme or promote ideologies or talk about cats. There is no technical jargon and it was not written using Linux. There is no picture or alt text or text about alt text. This post isn’t even here.

The word, “acronym” is actually an acronym for “A Cheat for Remembering (Or Not) Your Message.”

I wish there was a way to star ⭐️ or boost 🚀 people’s names, especially around Halloween.

Have any of you ever had an activity that was a part of your life for many years, but then one day you just stopped doing it? Maybe you were a writer, or a computer programmer, or just an avid gym rat. It could be anything.

What sparked the change? And do you ever miss it?

When the universe is only made up of black holes, none of this will matter.

Except for that one thing you did. OMG, so embarrassing.

Vivid Porn Studio deductions for 2025:
- 200 vibrating dildos, Harrison Ford model
- 100 cock rings, discounted due to LED lights not working
- 10 30-gallon drums of KY jelly

I’m kind of debating blocking interesting accounts that don’t use alt text just so I’m not tempted to boost.

As a side note, I never used to even think about alt text before I joined the Fediverse.

I’m not sure if it’s just in my dog’s nature to watch me go to the bathroom, or if she sees me watching her go to the bathroom and then thinks this is just something we do together.

Them: I like your fake spiderwebs for Halloween.
Me: Yes…fake…for Halloween…of course.

I know this is going to sound crazy, but what I’d most like in a printer is one where, when I tell it to print something, it prints.

I am a big boy, I just would like someone to hold my hand and check under the bed before I go to sleep.

Watching horror movies before bed is probably fine, right?

Why do the people in horror movies always act like they’ve never seen a horror movie?

Yes, I stole your toot, but only to correct your typo. So which one of us is the real monster here?

@TheBreadmonkey Did you ever find your cheese grater?

Them: Have you found the Lord Jesus Christ?
Me: Did he go missing?!?

I totally forgot to buy my shark a gift for Shark Week.

I already explained, I’m not wearing pants because I had a wardrobe malfunction.

Trying to convince my work that we need a mascot so I have a reason to bring my dog in every day.