(Excuse a British academia joke)...

I have just used the phrase "the whole REF pantomime" to a colleague, and now I'm imagining an actual pantomime based on REF.

"This is a four-star journal paper!"
"Oh no it isn't!"
"Oh yes it is!"

[REF is the system by which university research is assessed in the UK, and leads to actual real extra money, so we make a huge deal of it]