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  • Sin Vegasinvega@mas.to
    Oct 13, 2026, 11:38 PM

    I am going to have to talk to some people who Do Not Get It tomorrow and I feel sick with anxiety because it will be fucking awful even it it goes well. And if it goes badly I will have one week to find somewhere safe to live in a very small area that won't fuck everything up. Again.

    I'm so sick of this. I haven't done anything to anyone, I spent fucking years struggling to get help and then when it finally came it was sabotaged out of sheer narcissistic envy and spite by someone I was a VERY good friend to for years

    all i want is a goddamn home that won't kill me so I can start paying back people's kindness and get back to rebuilding my life

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Replies

  • Sin Vegasinvega@mas.to
    Oct 13, 2026, 11:41 PM

    these last two years should have been the best ones of my life, even with everyone's covid denying nazi bullshit

    treatment was what I needed all my life and held out for for YEARS. It was my best shot at making a life for myself for the handful of years I expected to have left

    instead, I've spent it all fucking terrified and traumatised and watching everything good get stripped away as soon as it happens

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Sin Vegasinvega@mas.to
    Oct 13, 2026, 11:43 PM

    i have been alone for so, so long and it hurts all the time. everything hurts to think about and all i do is think

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Sin Vegasinvega@mas.to
    Oct 13, 2026, 11:44 PM

    i want to go back in time and make myself just not love anyone

    that seems to be the only way to to more than fucking subsist in this cou ntry

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Sin Vegasinvega@mas.to
    Oct 13, 2026, 11:45 PM

    maybe it would have been kinder if my doctor hadn't given a shit. at least then it'd be over, but now I'm stuck fucking living instead

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0