Before I had top surgery, I asked around for pictures of other people’s chests, cis or trans. A lot of super awesome folks came through for me 🫶🏻 and it really helped me get some clarity about what to ask my surgeon for.

A couple of people asked if I would share mine when the time came and I said of course I would. It seems only fair that if you showed me yours, I’ll show you mine as well 😅

So here we go. This is my chest 1 week and 2 weeks after surgery. Keep in mind the actual finished result will only become apparent in the next couple of months. It can even take up to a year for everything to really settle. But today I was finally cleared to shower and start scar care and massage, so it’s a good time to share.

I’ve got a bit more swelling again since switching to a better compression vest but I’m trusting my body to do the thing it’s build to do. Gonna keep this on faithfully and do scar massage twice a day as instructed. And I reckon once the bruising and lesions from the previous vest have healed up, I’ll feel a lot more comfortable than I do right now. I barely have any pain from incisions or nipples; it’s all coming from what the vest fucked up for 2 weeks.

Most importantly, I can already tell that I will like it once it’s all settled. I will probably just pin this post and keep updating in a thread with results over time as things settle. So if you’re curious keep an eye on it. Now, without further ado, my new chest. I’ll just spoiler in case someone is squeamish about scars; there’s no blood or anything.

For those interested in getting top surgery: My surgeon is Gustavo Coelho in Porto, Portugal. I’m happy to answer questions for those choosing a surgeon right now.

#TopSurgeryResult #TopSurgery

Look, I'm not saying I'm doing super duper great but I have been allowed to take the compression velcro wrap off a day early because I was losing my mind and kept suffocating in my sleep despite CPAP. Now I'm down to the compression vest that was below and while that still digs into the same spots where my skin is raw and my ribs are bruised, I can breathe and eat and sit and I even took a nap after it was off, bringing the hours I slept since last night to a very impressive three 😂 I can sit in the garden, watch the dogs play and bother our friend while he's trying to work, listen to the wind in the trees and drink my drinks without the constant pain of compression digging into my ribs. I even had a fucking sandwich!

Now that the velcro wrap is off, the pain on my incisions is a bit higher but not too bad. Ribs and skin are sore but have started to heal. Drain sites are still surprisingly painful and tender. The seroma we think I got last night seems to have started to drain by itself. And my pecs stopped spasming when I stopped getting the stretchies once the wrap was off.

I dare to hope the worst pain might be behind me. Tomorrow we get to see how my nipples have fared through all this. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 I noticed my chest is a bit numb on the right side when I reached under the vest to reposition it but it didn't feel like it was completely numb so that bodes well. I also keep getting zaps still so I'm hoping for at least some sensation being regained down the road.

#topsurgery #transMan #transmasc

Cishet men work out for other men. I work out so queer femmes in sundresses will compliment my strength and 5'6 dad bod and lightly touch my arm when I make them laugh. We are not the same.

New pronouns just dropped! Instead of exclusively using they/them pronouns, I now use he/him as well.

What does that mean: It means you can use both “they” or “he” when talking about me. I prefer if you use both interchangeably, meaning you could use “they” in one sentence and “he” in the next. No worries, I’ll link to some info at the end of the post that should help you with that if you have no prior experience with people using mixed/multiple pronouns. 😊

This also means that if you speak about me in German you can now get away with using “er” for me. Which I’m sure should be a huge relief for all but the most experienced pronoun wranglers amongst you. 😜 Just please remember that I am still nonbinary. I’m still not a man. But you can think of me as man-adjacent if it helps.

And since it seems to need repeating, I am most definitely not a woman and not even adjacent to woman, so please never use she/her for me. There are easier ways to end our friendship/acquaintance/mutuality than misgendering me. 😉

Feel free to ask any (respectful) questions you may still have after reading the info available at these links:
1) https://www.them.us/story/multiple-sets-of-pronouns I especially relate to what Chala Tyson Tshitundu says in this. 

2) https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/multiple-pronouns-guide-affirm-use

3) https://sexualhealthalliance.com/nymphomedia-blog/how-to-affirm-people-who-use-multiple-sets-of-pronouns

P.S. Pros can check the ALT text on the image for an example of how to use mixed pronouns!

If I ever run amok, please know it’s because my bluetooth headphones once again did not connect to the correct device

I'm starting a virtual ledger of all the stim songs that come and go in my brain. I find I usually get stuck on one or two that I could listen to on repeat for a few weeks at a time. I do have a stimming playlist and the songs that make it onto that always work for me, but I'd be interested to see the change over time, whether old favourites return or not, and whether there's a pattern to it.

So I'm going to pin this and see what happens
There's always a slight chance my ADHD will forget that my autism has hyperfixated on this, of course. 😆

I'll use the hashtag #StimmingPlaylist so I guess you can follow along if you want? And feel free to share your stimming songs/music as well! 😊

Here are a few examples of songs that are already on my list, here you go:

- "Dos Oruguitas" from the movie Encanto was a long-lasting favourite last winter, I think
- Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper: "Shallow"
- "Limón y sal" by Julieta Venegas: no idea how I came across it, barely understand it, but it scratches an itch
- Billie Eilish, "Happier than ever", the latter part really hits the spot
- "Landslide" in many versions has been on the list for at least a decade, long before I realised I was autistic and that I was stimming through music, same thing with
- "Total eclipse of the heart" (Bonnie Tyler) and
- "Iris" (Goo Goo Dolls)

#AuDHD #actuallyAutistic #StimmingPlaylist #ADHD #Stimming #MusicalStims #AuralStims

The next time cis people tell me that top surgery is mutilation I’ll happily show them my blisters, welts, and missing skin from the trans tape I use to bind my chest. 😒

And if you’re cis and have even remotely had this thought, then you can and should make up for it by donating to my top surgery fundraiser: https://gofund.me/cfc18ea7

@ trans folks/poor folks: don’t you even *dare* contribute to it! I mean it; I’m not in dire straits, I just can’t afford surgery. But if you want to share it or boost it, I’d appreciate that, of course. :heart_trans:

#trans #transmasc #transNonbinary #transgender #lgbtqia #mutualAid

*repost from old account*

Starting to collect all the ways I complete my Garmin step goal that don't involve steps.

- I was lifting dumbbells, moving nothing but my arm
- I was smashing garlic with the side of a knife
- I was brushing the dog
- Reached my weekly intensity minutes goal (!) by pulling up my pyjama pants. 🤣
- Reached my step goal while talking. Might be because I talk with my hands a lot. 😂