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  • stimulatorstimulator@kolektiva.social
    Nov 13, 2026, 11:33 AM

    Goooooooooood Morning Slaves!

    1/3 — COP31: SEVENTEEN YEARS OF CLIMATE INACTION!

    I've been covering these motherfuckin climate summits since COP15 in Copenhagen, back in 2009.

    That's right, motherfuckers! I've been covering this shit since Greta Thunberg was six years old, watching the Teletubbies dubbed in Swedish!

    Back then, the world was pumping around 31 BILLION tonnes of fossil-fuel CO₂ into the atmosphere every year.

    Today? More than 38 BILLION TONNES!

    Seventeen years of emergency meetings, historic agreements and promises to save the planet, and emissions have gone UP by roughly 23%!

    And if you really want to torture yourself, here's the report I filed from Copenhagen back in 2009.

    #COP31 #COP15 #ClimateCrisis #ClimateJustice #DirectAction #SystemChangeNotClimateChange

    Copenhagen, Denmark, December 2009: A young and dangerously caffeinated Stimulator reports from COP15, where the world's political elites gathered to save the motherfuckin planet with speeches, handshakes and industrial quantities of hot air. Seventeen years, countless climate summits and billions of tonnes of additional CO₂ later, this vintage dispatch from the climate apocalypse proves that some things age like fine wine, while others age like a dumpster full of rotting promises. WARNING: Contains dangerously high concentrations of political bullshit and youthful revolutionary optimism.
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