Two days ago, last Wednesday, it happened. My dog of 14 years has been put out of her misery. It's quite impressive honestly, a dog, picked up from a Croatian street who got the first case of rat poison issues a mere two weeks after we got here made it to about 16 years of age.

She died around 12 years after the 14 years with us anniversary.

And honestly? I don't really know how to deal with this. If you do the calculation, I was 8 old years when we got her. For the vast majority of my life, this dog has been with us.

She got many silly names, Biene (because she just was a bee in so many ways), Flunder (because man, this dog's speciality was to stretch out like a flounder whenever possible), Staubsauger (vacuum cleaner, needs no explanation :D) and many, many more.

The day we first picked her up is still so present in my mind. She even threw up on my lap the day it happened.

She was a very healthy dog for most of her life. Really, the biggest issues came from her uncontrollable urge to eat everything she could possibly find outside, which was sometimes hard to control. Aside from that, she lived in pretty much perfect health until she was 15 years old.

Which is when the problems started. This is when severe heart palpitations began. Later on, it developed into a severe heart condition which lead to water from her heart dripping into her lungs (At least that's the explanation I remember, it feels so... Distant). This condition is pretty much always fatal and it's pretty much just a matter of time.

We did out best to counteract it though. She got drainage pills for a long time, along with pills to enhance kidney activity for maximum efficiency.

But alas, it wasn't enough.Her condition worsened more and more. She lost energy. She started refusing the pills. On the last day, we even had to sneak the pill into a chocolate bar for her to take it. The theobromine didn't matter anymore.

We knew last saturday that it had to happen. That she was suffering. That there was nothing we could do to help her. That her condition was ever worsening. She would hardly walk... Walk anywhere.

Suddenly, on monday. A burst of energy. I wasn't present for most of it, but the dog really pulled my mother (who was walking her) to all the different places in the forest we walked to a lot. Even her former favorite places we hadn't been to in years. Later that day, she also really pulled us to a park that we were in commonly in the past but hadn't visited in a long time. We wrapped up all the big places local to us that day.

Expectedly, her condition would worsen again on tuesday. She got by but... Barely. And old friend of the family and one of the oldest friends of this dog made a big chicken soup for her to eat. We all were with her on her final day.

Then, wednesday. 11:000 on the dot, the vet called us. She'd be on the way. We all went to the dogs bed and started cuddling her into bliss. The rest went so quickly. One small pinprick in the leg, and she was sleeping. The Narcosis went well. She didn't jump up and we all kept cuddling her. About five minutes later, the narcosis was complete. She was sleeping. The vet inserted the venous access and administered two more big doses of the narcotic medicine.

The whole time, I could feel my dogs heartbeat. Her breathing. A few minutes later... It was gone. She was on her journey to the great beyond. The vet left us a stone with her approximate birth time (year) and her death date. For about an hour, we kept cuddling her mortal remains. Then, the dog crematorium came to pick her up. I got another 15 minutes by myself to say goodbye. We all wrote final messages on wooden hearts that will be burned with her.

A few minutes later, she was put into the car, covered with a blanked and I said my final goodbye. The car left, I looked past as long as I could see it and... That was it. That's the last time I saw my best friend.

We will receive the ashes, a paw print and a nose print to remind us of her.

She died. We know that she had an incredible life. From the streets of Crotia, shot when she was a puppy to a loving family where she had the best life she could have dreamed of. She died in peace. Surrounded by the closest human she had who could stomach the pain of losing her. She died, but she will not be forgotten. If it wasn't for her heart, she probably could have made it another 3 years, but such is life.

I will always remember this beautiful bean. The best bee. The best flounder. The best vacuum cleaner. You will be missed.

Some more pictures below.