There’s the rain. #SydneyWeatherTooting

Good thunder. No rain.

#SydneyWeatherTooting

There was an update earlier that was something along the lines of “it was a technical issue not an AI one” to which all I can say is: citation needed.

“As infrastructure stabilizes, we're still draining queued messages and rebalancing traffic, so customers may see improved sign-in/access while delivery and processing continue to catch up. We do not have an ETA for full recovery yet. Service access can recover before mail flow fully normalizes.”

lol. “It still seems to be working but keep you’re thoughts and prayers up”

“Reducing email queues and backlogs remains a priority, and the extended 48-hour email timeout window remains in place to help protect delayed messages as delivery catches up.”

You can lie about not getting emails until at least lunchtime Monday.

“Our focus is now on extending these recovery actions across affected infrastructure in other regions, while continuing stabilization efforts and adding supporting capacity to improve service consistency.”

We have instructed many countries to hold their breath.

“We've made additional progress toward service recovery, with recovery actions completed across portions of the affected infrastructure in the Asia Pacific region. Traffic is being gradually restored, and we're seeing improvements in key customer scenarios, including mailbox access and delayed email processing. However, some users may continue to experience intermittent issues.”

Well done on not breathing, everyone.

“Network and traffic-management actions remain active. To protect email during recovery, we’re continuing to prioritize queue and backlog processing, and the email timeout window has been extended to 48 hours to preserve delayed messages.”

Your excuse for not sending that email can be “maybe microsoft is stopping it”.

“Recovery actions are ongoing and have progressed in phases across affected Microsoft 365 infrastructure. Global telemetry and customer reports show incremental improvement in several workloads; however, service health remains variable and capacity has not yet fully returned to baseline.”

NO. ONE. BREATHE.

If we stay perfectly still, it keeps working.

“we are extending the email timeout window to 48
hours to help protect delayed messages while service recovery continues.”

Emails should be on a 48 hour delay as a matter of policy, tbh. Imagen.

“Our primary mitigation path continues to focus on service stability and controlled recovery. Engineering teams are cycling affected infrastructure through traffic drain, restart, remediation, and staged return-to-service while monitoring closely.”

Our plan to recover and stabilise everything is to stabilise and recover everything.

“Recovery efforts are ongoing across impacted infrastructure. We are seeing early signs of stabilization, but service capacity has not yet returned to normal levels and health remains variable as traffic is carefully reintroduced”

Dunno what we did, but we’ve turned it off and on so many times it started working.

:tgif:, fuckos.

“We’re seeing positive results for server stability after applying an upstream authentication/routing configuration component patch to a portion of our infrastructure.”

I am not a professional computer toucher but what, typically, sits upstream of the server?

Also “routing configuration component patch” sounds awfully close to “it was DNS”

“At this point, we are observing marginal success” is a line I am filing away for future reference.

“We’re continuing to monitor activity across regions to evaluate server status and determine actions that can be taken to improve capacity. This includes reviewing server performance and confirming that developed patches have been applied and working as intended after infrastructure reboots are completed. At this point, we have observed marginal success.”

Marginal success.

Looking at it a different way…

Businesses: Congratulations on successfully completing your GTA6 launch day training course.

LinkedIn is still up, FYI.

Not one single iota of understanding of what’s broken or why.

“As of now, we are not aware of any malicious activity that is causing this incident. We will continue to treat this incident with urgency and priority until full resolution. Once mitigated, we will provide full details of the root cause, defense-in-depth repair items, and more within a Post-Incident Report.”

My I’m not hacked message is raising a lot of questions answered by I’m not hacked message.

Also, “once mitigated” is doing a cubic fucktonne of heavy lifting.