@TheBreadmonkey @adhdeanasl @Alice @mothninja I've been thinking about migrating to beige but I wanted to check and make sure (1) that y'all are cool with that, (2) that nothing weird will happen to me, and (3) that there are no minimum personal hygiene requirements.

Trying to think of what's the dumbest thing that people say that they think makes them sound cool. So far I got the sarcastic "is that so?"

Good morning. I just learned that I do not in fact have cancer. Which was a question for a little over a week now. The answer is no, I do not.

Good morning.

Stumbled across a youtube video about a device that is approved for treating tinnitus. I have had severe, life-altering tinnitus for years, and it is a good condition for experiencing getting all but ghosted by healthcare professionals.

This device is FDA approved but costs thousands and my insurance likely won't cover it. I could absolutely save for it, but I have been down the road of dashed hopes on this so many times and I honestly don't know if I'm up to do it again, so expensively.

this is so punk you guys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMuElf1_OoM

The Stanley No. 32 1/2 is both a useful ruler and a fantastic fidget toy. Made of boxwood and brass, it has a built-in caliper and folds in two directions down to a 3-inch package that fits in a pocket. It's excellent for fiddling with. And measuring things, if you're into that.

We all understand that that thing about GPT "breaking containment" was a lot of marketing, right? Guys? Not just me?

This is the recipe, for those interested. Bayless knows what the hell he's doing. I keep a bottle of his habanero hot sauce in my fridge at all times. https://www.rickbayless.com/recipe/watermelon-agua-fresca/

I partially solved the "watermelon takes up too much space" problem by making about three quarts of agua fresca. I am thrilled to report that I am a thoroughly refreshed goddamn genius.

I always feel like a really dumb genius when I solve a problem five minutes after asking for help

Exciting news, everyone

Now that I have a box of my father's cremains, my earworm brain is singing TAKE A LOOK INSIDE, IT'S MY DAD IN A BOX

Me: "I'm totally fine, just a normal day"

Also me: <covers the top crust of a blackberry pie with kosher salt instead of sugar>

Okay, maybe I need to sit down for a minute

I'm sitting with him, listening to his breathing. He is so frail. He looks like a wounded bird. But he is resting peacefully. And sitting here, whispering to him about what he meant to me, watching my father die? This is a holy place. I am so grateful that I get to sit and watch, that I get to bear witness to this life and its end.

My father is a great man, and his departure from this world will leave a wake. His name is Jim Reed, and he's one of the best things that ever happened to me.

My father is dying. He has days to go, maybe weeks if he keeps fighting it, but honestly I'll be shocked if he outlives the week.

It's extraordinarily sad, and one of the many horrible things about dementia is that you start mourning them long before they go.

But I'm strangely at peace. I think that may be partly because I've finally gotten to a place of acceptance, and partly because the days of worry are behind us. We're facing the inevitable now and all that's left to do is manage his pain.

I'm not the only one who hopes they play a slideshow of my shitposts at my funeral, am I? Guys? Not just me?

I just watched a 25-minute-long video on the opening drum solo for "Hot for Teacher" and I no longer need my family or indeed love anymore; I am beyond your human morality

Taiko conversation:

Tim: I thought lesbians were cat people

Emilee: Well, there are cat lesbians and dog lesbians, specifically pit bull lesbians, and then over here you have your Subaru lesbians

Me: Wait, I have a Subaru and a pit bull

Emilee: I don't know how to tell you this, but

Tonight's recovery meeting featured another very familiar round of men being honest about their own frailties and fears, one of them breaking into tears in love and gratitude and astonishment, and...well, it's kind of amazing how commonplace this is in my life.

Men, if you learn how to get honest and open and vulnerable, really share with someone who isn't your wife, girlfriend or mother, *you will be unlocking the door to your cage*. Also, you'll realize you were in a cage. It's freedom.

the plural of Windex is Windices