Not blooming and therefore not experiencing this queer, furry, therian, safe to be me thing *with others of similar nature, in-person* in my early 20s is a major life regret of mine.

That ship has sailed because I was too fucking shy about it for too long. The real magic of it all, the opportunity for that has faded.

And with three compormised joints (with all the others suddenly super fragile this year) I just can't keep up.

Traveling is physical. Going to a con or to some friends and walking around a lot is physical.

Seeing others happy and healthy now makes me envious.

If I went to a con today I'd probably hate it for the simple reason that my message to myself, no matter what anyone else says is:

"See this? This is what you MISSED OUT ON, what you could've enjoyed far batter. Oh look you're disabled now, too bad!"