complex analysis is so fucking amazing.

(this post brought to you by me getting excited about coming up with something for Simple Pole for tomorrow's mathober , getting out all of my complex analysis books, and falling down the rabbit hole of Riemann surfaces. There's just so much beautiful mathematics that has been painstakingly built for literally thousands of years through human thought and communication.

Programming getting swallowed by LLMs makes me angry, but math getting swallowed by LLMs makes me deeply sad.

What if we kissed while standing atop the means of production?

(It was kind of a big deal if you were a Blender nerd in the aughts, so back off)

RE: https://mastodon.art/@artificial3d/116934960683569054

Jesus christ it's been 20 years since Elephant's Dream.

From a math writeup at https://zenodo.org/records/23185917/files/vangool_generation_topos_2026.pdf

"Given the context of the discovery of [5], the author feels the need to
state explicitly that this note was human-written and contains no AI-generated
text, although some AI assistance was used for revision purposes. Perhaps more
importantly, the author believes that human understanding of mathematics is
an intrinsically slow, gradual, and valuable process, to which he hopes this note
can contribute a small piece."

Sigh...if human understanding of mathematics is "slow, gradual, and valuable", then there was no need to use an LLM for revision purposes either, so that was just laziness.

Nobody's playing with meeeeeeeeeeee 😭😭😭😭😭

Anyway, I'm off to girl!

I'm a girl. I do girly things that girls do girlfully.

In my quest to be a basic ass stereotype trans lady I got myself a tarot deck today.

(Ive done readings before by borrowing someone else's cards, but ive never had a deck of my own and I've been looking for one that felt like a good one to me for a while)

Also, it'd probably be cheaper, not only because many of us would.probably be willing to.compromise on salary to avoid bullshit, but also because when you hire someone, their salary is, yknow, their salary rather than their salary plus god knows how much in tokens a year.

Tonight in awkward moments being trans:

My kid's high school open house was Tonight. It turns out that one of her teachers is the slightly younger sister of someone I was good friends with in high school. Since we were close in age and I spent a lot of time at her house with her sister, she'd hang out with us sometimes.

So I decided to say hi and let her know who I was. I started by telling her I'm Eleanor Lastname and I was friends with her sister. I emphasized my last name because it's pretty unique and memorable hoping she'd get it. She didn't. So I quietly told her my name used to be deadname.

She responded excitedly "YOU'RE DEADNAME LASTNAME! I can totally see you in the polo shirt and khaki pants!" [that was the school uniform for boys]

At that point everyone in the classroom was staring.

She meant well, but sigh....

Also the first time in a while I've heard anyone say deadname lastname together.

There's a cactus wren outside my window, and I love how it sounds. It's chattering and banging on wood with its beak.

I'm kind of shocked at how willing people are to just set money on fire with LLMs.

Pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but you could just take the hormones. #TransJoy #QueerAsInFuckYou

I am one of the "always knew" trans people, but I didn't let myself think about transition until I was 36. Instead, I absorbed the ugly things my family said about "transvestites" and "transsexuals" and learned to hate myself. The few clear memories I do have of growing up involve my parents making jokes and me feeling like I was disgusting. I was never a confident child. There's no way I would have been able to find the confidence to say anything. So instead, I performed conversion therapy on myself and forced myself to live the life that was expected of me.

A little over a year ago, my parents gave me a diary they found from my childhood. On one page, probably from when I was 6 or so, I wrote "I want:", and on the next page I drew this:

The physicality of playing my violin is so different in my feminine body than it was in my masculine body. It feels good to hold myself the way I'm supposed to now, and all the motions flow from that posture, so all of my positions and angles are different now, and they feel good and natural rather than uncomfortable and forced.

(Take the fucking hormones y'all)

Trans girls can have nice legs, as a treat.