Landlord on the phone: just go on in and take whatever you want, feed on whoever you like

Vampire: trying but I can't get in

Landlord: what, but I invited you in

Vampire: yes but I can't come in, you're sure this is your home? Other people seem to live here

Landlord: yes I own it!

Vampire: you own it, but do you live in it?

Landlord: what does that matter? It's mine

Vampire: it's your *property*, it's not your *home*

Landlord: it's mine! who cares if I live in it?!

Vampire: magic law, why do you want me in anyway

Landlord: the tenants are late on rent, I figure this was a cheaper way to get rid of them...

Vampire: yeah this isn't going to work

Landlord: but don't you need to feed?

Vampire: don't worry, I figured out an alternative, thanks for inviting me in