Mallory's Musings & Mischiefmalcircuit@thingy.social
Oct 12, 2026, 12:30 PMIt's best to limit your lifetime whelm exposure to prevent becoming necrowhelmed
Replies
- Mallory's Musings & Mischiefmalcircuit@thingy.socialOct 12, 2026, 12:44 PM
Whelm levels and whelm states are an area of ongoing active research. Whelmic interactions are one of the great mysteries of our time. Many whelmologists believe a Grand Unified Theory Of Whelm is possible in our lifetimes, and it could revolutionize society in ways we can't even imagine.
- Mallory's Musings & Mischiefmalcircuit@thingy.socialOct 12, 2026, 1:05 PM
An interest in whelm can open the door to many exciting careers, such as:
- Whelmologist
- Whelmographer
- Whelmic Engineering
- Whelm Technician
- Occupational Whelmician
- Chief Whelmic OfficerAnd many more!
- Mallory's Musings & Mischiefmalcircuit@thingy.socialOct 12, 2026, 1:52 PM
The SI unit for whelm is called the Kafka (Kf) after Franz Kafka, the first person to quantify whelm. ±1000 Kf (1 kKf) is the average amount of whelm required to take someone from being equiwhelmed with their environment to being eigenwhelmed (+) or antiwhelmed (-), though whelm capacity varies from person to person.
Gregor Samsa, the subject of Kafka's groundbreaking research, was estimated to have reached whelm levels of at least 25 GKf after being unexpectedly transformed into a giant beetle
- Mallory's Musings & Mischiefmalcircuit@thingy.socialOct 12, 2026, 2:02 PM
An informal unit is the Franz (Fz), which is 1 kKf
Oct 12, 2026, 1:06 PM@malcircuit Occupational Whelmician seems like a job for me — Vi (regularly aiming to be just whelmed)
Parsingphaseparsingphase@m.phase.orgOct 12, 2026, 1:12 PM@malcircuit one nation, under whelm.
GerhardD.🏳️🌈GerhardD@olching.socialOct 12, 2026, 3:54 PM
Oct 13, 2026, 4:52 AM@malcircuit Do not fall for whelmologists! Many people think it is a science, but the scientific study of whlem I called whelmonomy, whelmology is an esoteric pseudoscience.
Medea Vanamonde 🏳️⚧️MedeaVanamonde@beige.partyOct 12, 2026, 2:18 PM@malcircuit sounds like the Saurez presentation of the Sefer Yetzira where he tried to make it read like a GUT: he had been hanging out with Fred Alan Wolf and Jack Sarfatti.
I wonder if it’s still an active tradition at CERN