I was told there were lizards on display. There were no lizards. Just snakes.

"Do you have anything with legs?" I asked one of the proprietors of the event. They had a millipede. Wife and kids were okay with this. I was the only one let down.

On the way in, a woman saw us masked and said to her husband, "Oh my gawd." I turned and exclaimed, "Oh my gawd! They're not wearing masks!" She replied, "And I never will!" To which I said, "Watch what that does to your lifespan and your brain!" Then I went about my business, looking at my people holding various snakes.

They want snakes now. (My people, not the human petri dishes. I don't know if they want snakes or not.) My thinking is, if they can find some snakes with legs, we'll talk. I mean, even fish have fins they use to get around, you know?

I'd keep an iguana again sometime, but not without a well-thought-out and comfortable habitat ready well in advance.