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  • deutrinodeutrino@mstdn.io
    Sep 24, 2026, 2:12 AM

    I've been lucky enough to figure out what's happening to me and only trade a few years of life for it. I'm quite sure many autistic people die like this without understanding, and often while blaming themselves.

    for me, when I can access quiet & solitude for long enough, my cognitive ability recovers very predictably. the only issue keeping me in chronic burnout and thus housing, food, and healthcare-insecure is that I've been unable to consistently meet those needs since 2016. 🤷

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  • deutrinodeutrino@mstdn.io
    Sep 24, 2026, 2:20 AM

    I post, or "overshare" like this for two main reasons.

    1. I hope some other person going thru this will find the posts and learn something that will help them, even if it's just to feel less alone.

    2. in the hope that somebody will fucking *help me.* this is both too uncommon and also common enough that I'm not only still alive, but very very lucky, and conscious of it.

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  • deutrinodeutrino@mstdn.io
    Sep 24, 2026, 2:26 AM

    people working with kids today would likely ID little me as ADHD in 15 seconds, and ASD in 15 minutes to an hour. but I grew up in the 80s & 90s, so I got to adulthood with no tools for managing existence in my own skin, and had to build most of what I've got from first principles with sticks & mud.

    there is zero help for autistic adults in the USA today unless you're rich. in the more likely event you're broke and on the dole, they're trying to take your Medicaid and food stamps.

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  • deutrinodeutrino@mstdn.io
    Sep 24, 2026, 2:32 AM

    anyway, that's my rant.

    so-called "level 1" or "high-functioning" ASD leads to drastic negative impacts on achievement, health, happiness, and lifespan thru mechanisms like I've just described and more. I'm lucky, for example, to almost never have meltdowns. sometimes people who do get their asses tazed, thrown in jail, and subjected to electroshock treatments. just to name an outcome for a friend of mine.

    please help us when you can. I promise you we need it. #ActuallyAutistic

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  • deutrinodeutrino@mstdn.io
    Sep 24, 2026, 2:36 AM

    nitpick time:

    * I rely on ZeroTier daily despite forgetting everything about it because the well-trodden paths I rely on are all in the browser or via specific applications, which Just Work™ and require zero thought once set up.

    * I could've just logged in via Tailscale right away instead of barking up the ZeroTier tree, but doing so takes more steps and is more painful, and one thing you ALWAYS try to minimize when in autistic burnout is COGNITIVE COMPLEXITY.

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