Principal got into a weird mood at assembly this week. He had to pin down a group of protestant pupils who've been preaching lies and heresies in the school (which is catholic); a priest was conspicuously nearby and the principal kept losing his words and pausing as if he'd forgotten where he is. The new deal is that the group can keep meeting but the priest will participate so that there's someone to say things like, "Ummm... actually Catholics don't do that at all."

Then he had to give his usual government-coerced talk about attendance. He got agitated and muddled, and his monologue rose to a Freudian climax: "YOUR GOAL IN CLASS IS TO FUCKUS!"