Jul 9, 2026, 3:04 PMBorowitz: McConnell, who had been motionless and unresponsive prior to the vice president’s arrival, suddenly sprang to attention, his eyes bulging with alarm.
“Get that bastard away from me!” the Kentucky lawmaker shrieked.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/mcconnell-bolts-upright-in-terror