you're snoring, honey; do you have a bit of the ol' slapnea (sleep apnea)?

I'm doing a queer health study and it's going straight for my major arteries every single page of the questionnaire

"select the traumas you've experienced from the list below"

"have you been sexually assaulted within the past year?"

"here's a list of ways some families affirm their transgender members. select all that apply. if none, select 'none of the above'"

and right now I'm at

"in your day-to-day life, how often do you try to prepare for possible insults from other people before leaving home?"

and I'm like

god damn

you know exactly how to word these things, questionnaire designer

British Broadcorping Castration

you can't park your car in Scotland Yard

you're listening to the English Channel, brought to you by the British Broadcasting Corporation

Middlesex County Register of Probate? pffft, bring me a Non-Binary Register of Prostate

you know what we need in the Senate? someone with an MIT PhD, experience inventing email, and carnal knowledge of Fran Drescher

anyway today is clear liquids only diet

"black coffee" is okay, but "no liquids you can't see through"

for the love of gods, who's brewing your coffee up there at the hospital

setting an alarm ahead of my colonoscopy tomorrow morning

got duties to pay? well, The Female Gaze is there for you

why do they call it USPS Informed Delivery when "The Mail Gaze" is right there

this is how they getcha, btw

got evicted and now homeless? great! simply complete this paperwork, all fields mandatory

Address:

a friend's benefits-related mail gets sent to my house

(she doesn't have an address, because she doesn't have a home, because she's struggling to get on benefits, because she doesn't have an address, etc)

and basically what i do is open it, skim it for urgency, scan it, and e-mail it

anyway... uggggghhh this fuckin scanner is driving me up the wall today

no wonder i got backlogged

maybe i'll do one an hour

American cheese. Mined in America, by American cheese miners. American cheese.

French philosopher and psychologist Pierre Janet (1859–1947) patented dissociation in 1901. This is an important milestone in the long journey that soon led to the accidental creation of trauma in Sigmund Freud's brain laboratory. Trauma, a key predictor of today's "post-traumatic stress disorder" (itself invented in the early 1970s by metal band "Horrors of War"), is the most common element on the Earth's surface in the 21st century. I yield the rest of my time to the Council.

you are not immune to proper gander

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring a sousaphone

as a reminder:

you don't need to be on HRT to be "trans enough"

you shouldn't need to be "trans enough" to get HRT

it's morally ok to lie to medical professionals to get the hormone-tweakin' medications and body-hackin' surgeries you need or want

transgender for all!! and all for transgender!!

on this day in 2017, at about 11am, i took my first dose of feminizing HRT

i have aged in reverse and grown magnificent boobs and my badonkadonk is now a hazard to navigation

good shit

we built these titties
we built these titties on estrogen