If account signup pages were accurate:

"Please fill out this information so that we can conduct a single transaction with you, email you incessantly until you hit unsubscribe, and then at a later point contact you to say your information was stolen in a breach for which we promise to be very contrite about but word the notification such that it will look like we're saying you, as the victim, are to blame for the entire sordid thing. Oh and also, use a difficult to guess password and shit."