Oct 26, 2026, 4:55 AMNo one expects the Surprise Police!
They use the element of surprise, of course.
Their job is to make sure that you know that they are never surprised and that they are themselves paradoxically surprised that you are reporting something which they have deemed unsurprising.
Oct 26, 2026, 4:58 AMYes, my fist just punched you in the face.
Oh, you're surprised? Can't imagine why, fists hit faces every day. They'll be hitting faces tomorrow. It's hardly news, is it?
Oct 26, 2026, 5:00 AMThe presence of your surprise surprises me.
Oct 26, 2026, 5:01 AMClimbing out of the rabbit hole now.