linode emailed me and told me they're going to reboot my Slackware 12 VM:

root@li25-98:/home/httpd# uptime
07:21:08 up 399 days, 3:18, 11 users, load average: 0.02, 0.01, 0.00
root@li25-98:/home/httpd# cat /etc/*version*
Slackware 12.0.0
root@li25-98:/home/httpd# ls -la /etc/slackware-version
-rw-r--r-- 1 root root 17 2007-06-10 02:23 /etc/slackware-version
root@li25-98:/home/httpd# perl -e 'print 2026-2007;'
19
root@li25-98:/home/httpd# uname -a
Linux li25-98 6.14.3-x86-linode188 #1 SMP PREEMPT_DYNAMIC Mon Apr 21 19:30:51 EDT 2025 i686 AMD EPYC 7642 48-Core Processor AuthenticAMD GNU/Linux

Please sign my change.org petition demanding it's fine leave it alone.