The hardest part about encountering a person with a handlebar mustache is wondering if they're a time traveler from 1937 or 2007.

Don’t come at me, hell existed before I was born.

I’m kind of obsessed with the heights of celebrities, so I'm constantly looking up their heights online, but I think my search engines are skewed because they always give me heights in cm/m so I have to specify "height in feet" which has resulted in my search engines thinking I’m obsessed with feet and holy shit some of these celebrities have some very strange yet sexy toes.

I don’t want a folding phone unless it will be smaller than an iPhone Mini when folded and doesn't have any exterior glass that will break whenever I inevitably drop it.

I actually got all of this for about $25 total (the little Evil Dead 2 magnet was actually the most expensive item I bought).

For anyone in the Sacramento area, Very Good Video is really cool and has super reasonable prices!

A new video store opened in Sacramento called Very Good Video so I went to their grand opening today and bought this gem for $5!

(Alt text with an explanation of why this is special and close up in the comments)

Kobe!

Thinking about updating my Microsoft profile pic so I can roll up to Teams meetings looking like this.

For anyone following along with my shoe saga, I listened to the people telling me I should just take my shoes to a cobbler, so I actually did do that today and they told me that it would be about $100 to replace the soles. 😭

My husband and I don’t fight about a lot of things, but one of our biggest contentions is how he calls aluminum foil "tin foil" (I know the Brits would say "it's 'actually aluminium...'") but he just one-upped me by saying "I believe the scientific term is... "fun foil..." 😂🎆

Throwback to about 20 years ago when I thought it would be funny to make beer koozies with the baby on board logo on them, but I had to buy them in bulk so I ended up with like 20 of them so I brought them up to my current husband's family barbecue and then my husband's family thought it was a messed up pregnancy announcement.

This is my appreciation post for my new neighbor, Maria, who is an absolute delight and she just gave us a jar of her chili oil to taste test.

She said she started making her own chili oil because the stuff from the store isn't spicy enough for her, so she's been trying to make her own so we just tried it on our Friday night pizza and it's seriously SO good! Like the perfect blend of spiciness and garlickiness and crunchiness.

Anyway, all of this to say that everyone should have a neighbor like Maria.

It reminds me of that garbage knockoff Banksy-adjacent guy called Mr. Brainwash who just thought of a bunch of dumb ideas and then had actual artists create it.

And the robot didn't even do a good job, bro.

One of the things that I resent most about AI is that it makes uncreative people think that THEY created something, so let's normalize reminding these people that they just used a dumb robot to steal someone else's creativity.

Cosmic Brownies are great on their own, but I highly recommend freezing them if you want to level up your dessert game.

The completed pineapple costume can be found here:

https://beige.party/@Alice/112792256911499108

So here's a throwback to when I decided to go out for Halloween as a pineapple. Well, the bottom half of the costume. I swear it wasn't a reference to swinging or anything.

I looked on my computer's desktop and noticed this weird photo of me and was like "Why am I posing like that?"

It's like half mugshot and half Sears catalog, so I clicked into it to see WTF was going on.

[Full photo in the comments]