You know that button in the elevator with the fireman’s hat on it? It turns out that is not the button you push if you want a fireman’s hat.

I liked you when we first met, but now you’ve talked me out of it.

Please hesitate to contact me.

I'm like, the toughest guy in this comic book store.

I run a tight shipwreck.

Adulthood is the biggest scam. Whoever wanted less time and more back pain?

Thank you for informing me you have a stick-figure family of six. Your Toyota Sienna had me under the impression you were wild and single.