I didn't want to be offended, but my cat was startled by a pair of my underwear.

#cats

And as I'm looking up where I can buy cute things for my wife (who's a tall plus size lady), the options are dwindling. I'm left with trying to pick through thrift stores if I want anything decent at a decent price.

It's very frustrating.

And that's to say nothing of the clothes themselves. Apparently, all women in the US are within a few inches of 5'4". God forbid you're shorter or taller. For my wife, everything is flood pants and a crop top.

If you're plus size, you must have big boobs, but not too big. Cause everyone is shaped the same right? Almost every shirt seems to be sized for a D/DD chest. And the plain ones always have that stupid little ugly pocket on one side. Thanks guys. Women now have a place for their Aldi quarter. Safely tucked away at the end of one boob.

And if the model photos are any indication, no one has a belly, plus size means you got big boobs and a big butt in a perfect hourglass shape. Any variation makes you wrong. Don't you see the shapely woman in the photo? She's the exact right shape. But not you short woman with a big belly, a big ass, and barely a B cup. You don't deserve to feel good about yourself because you don't look like the model.

So, I'm thinking about clothes again. Currently, it's about retail stores and plus size clothing. They have so much data and so much research. How are they so bad at it?

Let's start with how there's not enough. Over half the women in the US wear a size 14 or higher. And yet, anything past a size 16 is getting pushed online or just not made at all? Even places that cater to larger sizes are pushing more and more things online.

And it's so frustrating because it's nice to try things on. I hate ordering something, waiting for it to arrive (because I didn't order from Amazon), having my wife try it on, then returning it and doing it all over again if it doesn't fit.

My desktop PC won't turn on, and I don't know why. I've narrowed it down to the motherboard or the CPU, and I don't want it to be either.

Where's a good place to donate books? I have a bunch that I've read and are done with, and want to send them along for someone else to read.

I'm a little out of the way to set up a little library, I think.

#TwinCities #SaintPaul #MNastodon #books

Also, I can't prove this, but I suspect Lolly and Polly switch with each other to fuck Alistair.

Also also, who names their kid Lolly?

There's not a coherent plot in 9 Chickweed Lane. I don't know what's supposed to be going on. The dates below are publish dates.

May 11 and 12: Polly and Lolly (twins) are at the pool, and may or may not have been talking about Alistair, Lolly's fiance, and giggling. I suspect they were planning a three way.

May 13 and 14: They plan to convince Alistair that they were not talking about him by giving him a tiny pair of bikini briefs. They say "we" when presenting it to him, and try to convince him to put it on.

May 15: He does put them on, and Polly, I think, flirts with him. Lolly mentions their wedding is in 3 weeks.

May 19 and 20: Lolly and Alistair are dressed for their wedding wondering if they would still get together knowing what they know about each other now. I don't know what revelation happened, but I suspect they're both sex pests.

May 21, 22, and 23: They are suddenly getting married on a pier wearing swim suits. Old man Thorax officiates. Lolly is wearing Polly's swim suit from earlier. Half way through the ceremony they jump in the water and start making out. Thorax has to get their attention to finish. I think they jump back in to have sex in the water.

May 25: They haven't even left the wedding, and now they're fucking in the car. Alistair waves to his parents-in-law while they fuck.

May 26, 27, and 28: They honeymooned at home. Despite having sex in front of their wedding guests, they're concerned about the animals watching them go at it.

May 30: Lolly and her mom talk about how they both had lots of sex on their honeymoon in the most awkward way possible.

Of all of this, the most confusing bit is the wedding suddenly being on a pier with everyone in their bathing suits, when just the day before they're wearing regular wedding attire.

#comics #BryanReadsTheFunnies

My wife and I are driving for most of today. The twin cities has an Indie Bookstore Passport event going in this weekend. So we're swinging by bookstores to get stamps, and trying not to spend all of our money.

#books #IndependentBookstores #IndieBookstores #TwinCities #MNastodon

I got a subscription to read comic strips. One I started reading is "9 Chickweed Lane". The description says it's about a woman named Edda that moves to New York City to perform ballet.

What I've read so far is various couples explaining how they want to bang each other without directly saying it by using overly flowery language.

#comics

I wish there was, like, a night mall. It would have weird stores, and maybe be haunted. But mostly it would be open at night, and I could walk around in it then.

It would have a Claire's too because I think they're contractually obligated to be in every mall.

O'Hare is too big. I don't like it.

Today did not go how I wanted. I will try again tomorrow.

I would like to follow more illustrators and artists. Send me your favorites!

#art #illustration #penandink

I'm listening to Japanese 80s City Pop today. I don't what happened, but I like the sound of women's vocals from that period than the high pitched voices you hear today.

#music #CityPop

Campaign Idea: The Disney Vault. Player's unearth an ancient tomb. Inside is a maze of doors with crude drawings. When they enter one, they're taken to another world based on a Disney film. Like Kingdom Hearts, but the player's can follow the plot.

#TTRPG

Sometimes I think to use the phrase "Holy Toledo". Which is from 1995's Gumby: The Movie. And then I think about how old I am, and that few people probably remember Gumby, and my hair turns a little grayer.

I read a book this weekend to get through what was happening. It was The Grimoire Grammar School Parent Teacher Association by Caitlin Rozakis.

It's basically about a regular mom who's kindergartner gets accidentally bitten by a werewolf, and now she has to navigate a magical elementary school. Basically Harry Potter from a parent's point of view.

I liked how the mundane and magical world mixed. It wasn't a hard separation. Some magic folks had regular jobs in the mundane world. Kids still wanted to dress as superheroes and princesses. As a parent myself, I really chuckled at the school messages at the start of each chapter that sounded very normal until they added a supernatural flair.

The story itself was fairly well done. I like how the daughter, Aria, was portrayed. She and the other werewolves were fun to read. The supporting cast was interesting, but some of the changes to who gets the focus feels a little sudden later in the book.

Overall a fun read. I'm glad it didn't turn into a mutli-volume epic about saving the world or some such (which is my constant fear with every fantasy novel).

#books #bookstodon #fantasy #CozyFantasy

"Please do not destroy our own city," says Minneapolis police chief that did nothing to protect the residents to which he's speaking.

#MNastodon #minnesota #Minneapolis #TwinCities

My wife showed me this rad Minnesota Rebel Alliance logo. Even better, the artist made it public domain.

https://www.reddit.com/r/minnesota/comments/1qhjp16/minnesota_rebel_alliance_logo/

#MNastodon #minnesota #TwinCities