Tonight on Enterprise
Lt. Reed hides inside a Xindi Cracker Barrel restaurant although could have solved everything if there was any continuity in the series.

Tonight on Star Trek: Voyager
Chakotay finds a post-apocalyptic civilization however could have prevented all of this if they had scanned the station first

This time Admiral Cornwell crosses into the mirror universe to steal a pizza ordered by their counterpart yet actually is the link to the alpha quadrant

This time Geordi accidentally discovers new life on the holodeck but can't escape the holodeck!

In this episode Mr. Sulu solves the puzzle onboard a derelict space station although can't find any coffee.

This time Harry accidentally discovers new life on the holodeck though the crypto market crashes and isolinear GPU prices return to normal

Next week, on CBS All-Access Ensign Tilly gets stuck in a time loop nevertheless could have solved everything if the transporter had just worked.

In this episode Uhura confuses an entirely logical race of brains in jars although also convinces Admiral Fraiser to take Space LSD.

In this episode Lieutenant Tyler is convicted of mutiny however could have solved everything if the sensors had just worked.

This time Chief O'Brien has a crisis of faith although could have prevented all of this if they had scanned the ship first

In this episode Guinan can't stop dancing yet is suspiciously sensitive to light

This time Dr. Crusher finds out the true meaning of Christmas but also finds an unexpected love.

This time Captain Kirk meets another fake god yet also starts another war!

Tonight on Star Trek: Voyager
Seven of Nine meets another fake god nevertheless actually is the true source of anime on Earth.

In this episode Subcommander T'Pol finds out the true meaning of Christmas nevertheless could have solved everything if the sensors had just worked.

Tonight on Deep Space 9
Commander Sisko plays baseball again for some reason nevertheless accidentally causes the crew to get space drunk.

Tonight on Deep Space 9
Dax has some trouble with tribbles yet actually finds hundreds of inhabitants.

This time Chief O'Brien has some trouble with tribbles but also starts another war!

Tonight on Deep Space 9
Dr. Bashir tries to get rid of 5000 wrappages of yamok sauce though is really in the dream of a sick child at a hospital.

Tonight on Star Trek
Chekov has a transporter accident but ends up stuck in the mirror universe