After hearing about the bloke who parked in every bay at Lidl I resolved to use every urinal at the Utilita Bowl during the cricket season. On the last day in September I think I finished the task but I didn't log it all in an excel so I'll never really know.

I'm 55. I've got hairy bollocks, but I've just realised that the back of my scrotum is completely hairless. I have no idea if this is normal. This is partly a fess and partly wanting to know if I'm odd or not.

I have had a wank in 5 of the tallest buildings in London, close to completing my seven summits.

When I was about nine or ten, I took a pebble home from a beach in Dorset. Shortly after, I saw in the news that people in Italy were angry about tourists taking stones from their monuments. I spent my childhood in fear the police were going to arrest me for stealing a pebble.

I manoeuvred someone who worked for me down the redundancy route, as he often wrote "would/could/should of" in reports and emails. Got him out with under two years' service too, so no redundancy cost either. Should of done it even sooner.

Partner was surprised but pleased at my efforts to deep clean the dishwasher on Saturday morning. I did not explain it was because I drunkenly put a load of laundry in it the night before.

I play poker with a bunch of friends once a month. Modest stakes but not nothing. One guy has started to wear sunglasses to be more inscrutable. I tried to tell him I can see his cards reflected in them but he got angry so I've shut up about it. And call nearly all his bluffs.

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I accidentally lost my long-term Skyrim companion, Uthgerd the Unbroken, in Solstheim while doing The Temple of Miraak. She died, and I saved the game by mistake. The grief was profound. Embarrassingly so. I have experienced less devastation at several actual family funerals.

Married nearly 19 years. I've been a functioning alcoholic maybe 15 or more of those. Now I'm stopping drinking I'm really worried that when sober I don't actually want to be married to her.

48 years old. Did OK in the city. House, car, place abroad etc. Outwardly perfect life. Truly miserable 90% of the time. Only ever happy when I'm sat on the sofa, just me and the dog - sharing cheesestrings and watching TOTP2 on YouTube.

I've sat in the same seat at my football team for fifteen years. Chatted to the same guys and look forward to it. I have no idea what any of their names are. Can't ask now can I?

I have a pint glass by the bed for midnight wees. Toilet is down two stories so CBA. So far, have managed to remember to empty, wash and put it away whenever my GF comes over, but I've a feeling its only a matter of time before I hear "what the fuck is THAT" coming from the room

I tell myself I still love my husband, but I have to face up to the fact that he squirts salad cream onto his pancakes and I don't know what to do about it.

I have worked at my company for more than 3 years. Despite drinking around 4 cups of coffee during the workday I have never bought a single drop of milk. I simply alternate my stealing from different labelled milks in the breakout room, especially directors.

At work: arse suddenly itched, I scratched, and found fingers covered in shit which I hurriedly wiped on the nearest piece of paper. This turned out to be an important letter for which the boss is still angrily searching.

My hobby around 1995 was to blink at the same frequency as the clock on the VCR but out of phase, so that I would only see the digits lit up. Spent hours of my life on that.

Met the love of my life from a reply to a Missed Connection ad in a paper. It was fake but led to a ton of dates. Now happily married 11 yrs to "mysterious brunette in blue top on circle line" and daren't confess the truth. But I suspect she was nowhere near the train either.

I was terrible at words until age 10. Geometry teacher was aghast when I said 'circumcise a circle.' Yeah, circumscribe but you try long words at that age.