I want to share the (hopefully) inspiring story of how transitioning saved my Life and how I became the happy little Baddie I am today.
I have known that I am trans since I was 4 years old. As a queer Kid in the 90ies nobody would listen to how I feel and there is literally one picture of me from my childhood. My Mom let me wear a skirt and a wig while playtime and it's one of my only few fond childhood memories until today.
I was bullied a lot at school, I didn't like myself and I barely had any Friends, spent most of my time reading and playing Video Games.
When puberty hit, depression started to get so severe that life felt pointless and there wasn't a day I didn't think about ending the misery myself. I started doing drugs when I was 15 or 16, trying to feel alive and also be able to concentrate on school (I got diagnosed with ADHD last year with 35 years) so I wouldn't disappoint my Mom. I felt she was never content with anything I achieved. I was a disappointment and maybe the biggest mistake of her life - that's what I felt back then.
I graduated and my addictions became severe. I had multiple addictions and I did a lot of things I am ashamed of today, just to buy drugs, just to feel SOMETHING.
I managed to stay clean for some time, even have some successful jobs where I was able to earn some real money. Only to fall back into depression, only to fall back into addiction and spending all my savings on drugs and alcohol.
Sober again, I married a Woman who gaslit and cheated on me the whole marriage and I became kinda successful in insurance sales, earning more money in two years than I have ever had my life before. She urged me to spend it all on expensive holidays, luxury and stuff - and deep inside all of this left me so empty I fell in a deep hole. I had everything my Mom wanted for me - success, status, a wife. I spent 10-12 hours a day working, a growing Bank Account being the only Life Goal.
Her "Love" turned toxic. She openly cheated. Just hate and loathing from my wife. I tried to end my misery for good. Luckily I survived by sheer luck.
That's when I knew I couldn't do this any more. I left her, filed for divorce and spent about 6 months in a psychiatric hospital. I got therapy.
Finally I was able to overcome my fear of being rejected. I started to Transition. For the first time in my life I felt happy. I quit drinking and doing drugs, I lost 30kgs of weight and became more and more myself every day.
As of today I am still recovering from many years of depression, being unable to work and living off disability pension.
I barely have enough money to live but I have a loving polycule, a wonderful GF I live with, a nice apartment and I am finally happy!
My Life could have been so much easier and better If they just listened to what I had to say as a kid.
Whatever you have been through: You deserve to be happy! Be yourself, never yield.
Protect Trans Kids. Death before Detransition.
