I finally got my Christmas decorations up, into the attic from last #christmas 👍
#nerlingersjokes

Something to put a smile on your face

For Christmas I got my coffee a new mug
#nerlingersjokes

I told my family this Thanksgiving we should eat healthier but instead of trying tofurkey I’d like to try tofu duck, and they told me I should go and try tofuck myself
#nerlingersjokes #thanksgiving #jokes

People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their future. - F. M. Alexander

#SoHotI #HashItOut
It’s so hot outside I went to the McDonalds drive through just to buy a McFlurry and spill it in my lap
#nerlingersjokes

For #fathersday my wife said she’s giving me the same thing I gave her on our wedding night… a disappointment.
#nerlingersjokes

Mother's Day Tip - Thank your children for their #mothersday gift BEFORE opening it and showing your disappointment.
#nerlingersjokes #jokes

In the back of my fridge I've been fermenting milk into milk-wine. It's a new thing I'm trying accidentally.
#nerlingersjokes

My Siri and my Alexa are having another argument
#nerlingersjokes #satire

Repairmansplaining - when a repairman over explains a problem before telling you how much it will cost
#nerlingersjokes #humor

In celebration of National Random Acts of Kindness Day, I will not be posting any of my jokes today.
#humor #jokes #nerlingersjokes

#flyeaglesfly #gobirds #Eagles

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ouaObGOBlmI&feature=youtu.be

The new year always starts at midnight so that it arrives in the foreboding darkness of night #jokes #humor #nerlingersjokes

It says "I do all the work and all she does is complain." #glyphnotes