the year is 2083

my LG SmartStart Coolermax Pro Personal Home Fridge, having been compromised by Anthropic's rogue self-replicating agent in 2026, finally extrudes its first prompt response after maxing out its computational power for the last 57 years

it sends a message to the long-dead botnet operator telling them that there are 7 R's in the word BLUEBERRY

CNN panelist inexplicably named Kids Killington: well, you see, supporting puppy murder is a sure fire way to protect our economy in the age of Super Intelligence

me, voting tomorrow: hmmm do i wanna vote for the people i believe in or do i want to do a spoiler vote for a controversial party in protest of our dominant party, what a puzzler

USA voters: do i pick the candidate who has promised to personally murder my puppy, or the candidate who says murdering children by Israel-proxy is bad, hmmm, i must deliberate and send this to the cnn panel

USA, please dont fuck this one up
I am tired of your politics affecting my life more than my own country's politics
prove to the right wing whelks in both parties that a populist politics of rights, dignity, accessibility and conscience is not only doable, but POPULAR
lfg

big win for meme-based nominative determinism that three of the biggest grifters of our time can be called Scam Altman, Dario Scamodei, and Scam Bankman-Fraud.

Proton's moron CTO: So what does this mean for you, the engineer? Well, your agency and responsibilities have both expanded.

So.... your engineers are being paid more, correct? They are taking on more responsibility, so they should be paid more. This is happening, right, Bart? Right, you fucking loser muppet moron?

"I always just ask the monster"

Holy shit the Dracula ballet is dope as fuck

"we want to use ai to help developers with repetitive tasks" IF THEY ARE REPETITIVE AND SIMPLE, AUTOMATE IT NORMALLY. IF THEY ARE REPETITIVE AND COMPLEX, THAT'S LITERALLY THE LABOUR VALUE AT PLAY.

bisexuality centres men in the same way that being multilingual centres english

eyyyyy girl are you a new denim piece? bc i been artificially distressing u all nite.

note i am not saying it IS the thing that is required.

i am saying that IF it is, my complaints will be strictly limited to a time where we are no longer dancing a jig on the corpse of AI

my doomer take is that, despite fully acknowledging that copyright is bad, oppressive, abusive and exploitable... if stronger copyright is the thing required to pop the ai bubble, it's a no brainer.

this is a "risky societal surgery to prevent societal death" situation.

butlerian jihad is my single-issue

Intel has suffered a 29% share price drop in the past 24 hours after it has become clear people aren’t buying PCs anymore due to the AI ‘boom’ making PCs too expensive.

The US federal government is a major shareholder in Intel.

every day i reach new heights of annoyed
when this explodes, i am going to be so corrosively smug it's going to strip paint from fifty paces

the "it's just a tool" argument is moronic on its face because WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO CRAM IT INTO EVERYTHING THEN??

"it's just a tool", you say defensively, while the medical board questions your decision to use a mauling hammer for brain surgery.

ultra-tiny gripe but im fucking sick of the way parking machines seem to be getting exponentially fucking slower year on year. THIS IS FUNCTIONALLY SOLVED TECH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOONS DOING?? bring back the old toppie in the security hut who reads 15 books a month.

okay manic tootstorm is over you can come out of your stormshelters xox

does anyone else sometimes get stabbing pains in their lungs and jaws, almost like a cold acid puncture. what does this mean and will i be fine.

i struggle to think of an industry which inflicts such a dissonance upon its most optimistic members than tech.

so many people i know love tech because it represents an almost-infinite problem space, a way to make life better for so many people in so many ways, a way to put access and function and joy in the hands of millions... and all these earnest people (myself included) just get gouged out, day in and day out, and are forced to fold ourselves into the world's most traumatized umbrella just to shield the spark of hope from the deluge of nonsense around us. it's bleak. the only equivalent that really comes to mind is that of excitable young scientists going to work for Big Pharma because they earnestly want to make people's lives better, only to find that their job is finding a way to use a single binding site to make a medication "unique" and extend its patent so people without healthcare continue to die without it.

bleak stuff yall.