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  • Rob 🏳️‍🌈 RMiddleton.ArtRMiddleton@mastodon.art
    Jun 5, 2025, 4:03 PM

    i want to be open to current music & art. it’s a source of hope. contemporary visual art usually upsets me. bc it’s my career & i am failing. i see attention seeking, consistency, SEO, marketing, popularity, fun distraction, artists’ sex appeal & other secondary factors being key to success more than the art. maybe i’m just negative. it’s impossible for me to know bc i am negative about my own failure. & i am deeply unsatisfied with the messages promoted by those with the biggest platforms.

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Replies

  • Rob 🏳️‍🌈 RMiddleton.ArtRMiddleton@mastodon.art
    Jun 5, 2025, 4:03 PM

    Above is from a dialogue with my boyfriend who is a younger artist. I do not want to taint his outlook. At the same time he is drawn to me & therefore has the seed of disillusionment in him.

    I share the thoughts behind my work as much as I share my work anymore. I see forced positivity in promotion that I believe multiplies isolation. I think every mass success contains joy & alienation, for the author & audience. Failure to address this core characteristic of mass media #art prevents progress.

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  • Rob 🏳️‍🌈 RMiddleton.ArtRMiddleton@mastodon.art
    Jun 5, 2025, 5:02 PM

    As always character limits promote & hamper dialogue. Limitation frees me to speak knowing that I cannot resolve any issue. Yet it's incomplete of course.

    I shared the above post with my boyfriend. He doesn't seem to be bothered by me talking about him in any way. Or he's good at faking. This trait makes him the person I'm most comfortable with. I've shared relationship difficulties in videos and writing & I'm not too scared for his reaction. I do fear some friends & family.

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  • Rob 🏳️‍🌈 RMiddleton.ArtRMiddleton@mastodon.art
    Jun 5, 2025, 5:02 PM

    I plan my next blog to begin: My appeal is to anyone who has energy. I have none. Each day I diminish.

    I wish that friends & family who have energy might remove belongings & art from my place if they want it. I expect to just walk away from here, if I'm lucky. That's my survival plan because I have no energy. The last time my sister came back to where I live, her hometown, was for a high school reunion. My sister emphasizes fun. She brought her husband who is a doctor. She casually mentioned

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  • Rob 🏳️‍🌈 RMiddleton.ArtRMiddleton@mastodon.art
    Jun 5, 2025, 5:02 PM

    that she thought they might be getting over Covid but that they don't test because *if they tested positive* that would necessitate complications at my brother in law's job!!! I am too weak to react. But these are the people whom I'm hoping might help me. It's not very promising. The best I can say is that they are not active bigots like the generation before. Clearly they are ableist but they don't see it.

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  • Rob 🏳️‍🌈 RMiddleton.ArtRMiddleton@mastodon.art
    Jun 5, 2025, 5:02 PM

    As their last child enters adulthood my sis said to me: I don't know what to do now. Travel I guess.

    This upset me for a couple reasons. I'd like to think that if I had their funds that I would put them to beneficial use. But I think my humanist attitudes directly prevent me from amassing a nest egg of funds. I think that's the catch-22 in societies worldwide. Only the heartless can thrive. But as I said re: my art above, I'm biased by my failure. I also felt sad that my sister has no passions.

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