We put humans under so much more scrutiny than black box code. If a human spouts out 'sub par work' they... Don't have a job. When a robot does it, it 'just needs more data'. It needs to be tweaked or altered. It will fix itself... Eventually.
But humans have to fight tooth and nail to receive rest. To work less hours, avoiding crunch.To not have their deadlines shortened without notice or massive changes made at the final hour.
I think the latest AI kerfuffle with LinkedIn & Xbox has made it click on why I hate things so much.
When a human goes to make an advertisement, it goes through a whole rigamarol of changes and corporate polishing. A huge pain in the ass that can make you question your own ability to even make things.
But when an AI does a thing, it's never double checked, there's no vetting process, there's no questioning of ability. It's just tossed out into the world. No matter how bad it is.
But it will come back. When it wants to, when you're actually ready for it. You'll know it in the itch of your shoulder when you see your supplies. When lines become play again, when your hand starts to move faster than your brain will catch up.
Just please be kind to yourself. As best you can. Your brain is doing a lot of work behind the scenes & you really don't have any choice but to let it.
The older the core fantasy, the more neurons it effects kinda deal. I guess I just want to put it out there for anyone else who is struggling with this too.
Being cruel to yourself won't bring your art back. Compounding pressure will probably make it difficult as well.
The armchair psychologist in me can best define it as completing a life goal, like a trilogy - and not getting my fantasy results was a 'breaking point' but not in the way of being broken.
It was more like, by fulfilling a very old fantasy; one that was admirable but with incorrect motivation from the start. And when your brain can only accept the end result, it rewires... well everything. Neuroplasicity is weird. And scary.
I don't really know if it was entirely 'art block'. It felt a lot deeper. Like the parts of my visual imagination had just kind of broken or completely shut off. I went from being able to visualize whole scenes in my head to barely being able to turn a scribble into a face, or even visualize expressions. It's probably the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. Like the core of your being just isn't there anymore.
I'm not going to lie, it's been frustrating not being able to really draw 'things'. I've been stuck in an endless loop of getting exhausted from just a few scribbles. And even this took a lot of self coaching to finalize into identifiable shapes.
I'm most happy that I can lean back on drawing my characters again. It's weird saying that something you drew for 10+ years suddenly felt impossible. It was like my brain couldn't even piece together shapes.
Anyone here able to recommend a good #vpn that doesn't steal data?
Folks be so confident in their transphobia until you tell them they'd be the folks 100 years ago yelling at me for wearing pants.
Nothing is weirder than having an internet reply guy situation in real life:
Cashier 'whats this?'
Me 'a sports drink from Japan/Korea. It's like gatorade.'
Cashier 'ive never been to Japan. Apparently their economy isn't good and they segregate trains by genders
Me 'uh, no they don't. Maybe you're confusing it with Dubai? I've been to Japan'
Cashier 'no I'm pretty sure they are. I read it online.'
🙃 I guess I just hallucinated my entire experience then.
Imagine how much space we could save if instead of a million shops, we had fully decked out communal workspaces. Woodworking, masonry, sewing, pottery, glass works, cobbling - even robotics. Places where you can learn from masters, or request work to be done for your home if you don't have the ability or inclination. The setup is for both learning, hobbies & a full workforce. So much recycling of goods because with everything so hand crafted, still having the internet to find & trade.
If Gene Roddenberry can think of Star Trek, why can't I have my hobbit cottage in the woods that also happens to be an apartment complex. With large communal spaces for cooking, but still having enough personal space to own and change to my liking. Soundproofed properly, accessible to disabilities. Balconies large enough for a personal garden and doubles as shaded outdoor spaces. Enough technology to reduce labour like cleaning, but still embracing so much of nature.
I've been taking time lately to write down how I would like my personal utopia to work. Not to have some perfect future - especially one that only benefits me, but to challenge myself and beliefs away from capitalist, individualistic & nihilistic thinking into how community structures could be incredibly powerful. I don't know if this is just creating a new fantasy to help myself escape, but it at least makes me think about how simple a lot of changes could potentially be.
Kind of fascinating to realize that the AI commercials are like those old tv infomercials - the ones where they were advertising appliances that were useful for disabilities, but because they can't dare to have an actual disability shown on screen they just had really incompetent able bodied people, which made the appliance appear useless.
I'm just gonna say that 2005 youtube didn't need my watch history to show me a video
I think they just fixed my problem being on the platform too much?
Youtube has now made it so it won't recommend you anything if your watch history is off. Amazing algorithm guys.
Shorts is broken. AHAHAHAHAHAHA
I really do hate how much AI marketing as completely destroyed the nuance of actually building artificial intelligence.
Like, building a grander auto-complete is a thing to do I guess, but I still miss reading about designs that would try to build context for themselves. AND ON TOP OF THAT be something we can understand.
The whole 'we made a neural network and don't know how it works, or we do and we can't tell anyone how' is just the most asinine thing I've ever heard.
If we could get IT to approve this, then why not a basic and exact program for what we need without our software needing to 'guess'
