Do you remember learning to read? Being taught to read?

the HMO's "message your doctor" thing sorts by doctor's first name. I feel like my doctor's first name is confidential PII covered by HIPPA and I'm not supposed to know it. Feels weird every time I have to come in here.

confronted a major personal fear and went to see an oral surgeon. I did not incur additional trauma for the visit.

reMarkable said the lack of a backlight is "an intentional choice to provide the most paper-like experience for those who prioritize deep thinking, primarily in well-lit office environments."

This is such a baffling statement to make. Deep thinking requires a well-lit office? or is it that those of us who prefer a different lighting style aren't deep thinkers?

Also, "typing isn't one of the company's priorities right now" so you can't use their Type Folios or a bluetooth keyboard.

Of course they haven't changed the software stack at all so it's a vendor lock-in play with cloud services.

I've always really wanted to like remarkable. I have an addiction to e-ink devices but remarkable hasn't made a model since the first one that seemed like a good idea for me to own.

https://www.engadget.com/2164815/remarkable-paper-pure-review/

I will not rent the tools of my livelihood.

I am not chatty mcchaterson of late, I know. But I'm going to be a bit more distant in the evenings. my new hand nerve drama is really kicking up and computering seems to make it worse. So I'm going to be more in a mode of consumption via tablet than generation via keyboard after work. The extra isolation will be ... challenging. I might have to learn to talk to computers. I don't know. Anyway, that's what's up. Still here. Just hurts to computer. I really hate this body sometimes.

health stuff's been not fun of late for new reasons. The psych drug may have increased my ocular pressure and changed the prescription in one eye. Or maybe I scratched it at the same time I was on a psych drug? I don't know. I have an appt tomorrow with an optometrist to find out.

And I'm having nerve problems that cause hand pain that make typing and mousing hurt. But I got approved for a new cervical spine MRI (in May) to see if my drama there has worsened. And I'm on the wait list for a nerve conduction scan + EMG to figure out my hands. 50/50 I end up with a fibromyalgia diagnosis on top of everything else. I'm back on the max gabapentin dose which does help. But not enough.

I don't know what to say really. I don't have much going on apart from health stuff. and work. But can't talk about that really, not on fedi at least.

so, I'm off the cymbalta due to side effects. That was not a fun ride, y'all, and it looks like SSRIs are off my possible list due to everything else that's up with me. It was so good for my nerve pain though. I will miss that.

If this nerve pain shit becomes permanent, I'll have other accessibility things to figure out and blather about. but let's hope not...

I'm not doing much tech stuff outside of work these days. I've developed a nerve pain problem in my hands that makes typing hurt, a lot. Comes and goes but once it's running, it's hard to put down. I'm chasing it down with my med team but it does limit extra-curricular coding and the like.

Also, I'm trying to figure out how I can personally engage with tech without bringing work home, for or against. All anyone wants to talk about is AI shit, one way or another, and after a work day eye ball deep in it, I'm just not interested (and might risk my job, anyway).

So I don't know. It's all a challenge. But my hands hurt, so back to idly clicking on timberborn things...

today was so off for me that I totally spaced on the Timberborn 1.0 launch. And here it is with maybe an hour before I turn into a pumpkin... need some beaver emojos.

they settled the Live Nation trial before they could get to the story of how the Taylor Swift ticketing debacle happened? I need that story to make it to open court so I can talk about parts of it. Stupid corporate NDAs preventing fun story times

I might once again port my org-mode based blog away from hugo and back to something like gostatic. I'm very sick of every damn piece of documentation I find about hugo being wrong in some way.

my regular bloodwork came back ... mixed, I'd say. This is the first draw since starting the new meds and I'm unsure what we're expecting. My neutrophils are really high (which is not great). My immunoglobulin numbers are low but they've been this low for a while now. Most importantly, they haven't plummeted which was a possibility I was worried about. also, my potassium level dropped (not great) but is still in range (barely). so I need to eat more avocado toast or some shit.

like I said, I'm not sure what these numbers should look like right now. Got a doctor appointment on friday and I'll find out then. But the worst horrors I was fearing did not manifest, so that's good.

if I spin up emacs the gui, it reinstalls/recompiles all dependencies like it's a fresh install. then if I spin up emacs in the cli, it reinstalls deps again. if I stick to just the gui or just the cli, it doesn't.

of course emacs is being weird. had to be something

today I managed to take on 88mL out of a planned 1L infusion bag of rituximab before allergy reactions started sneaking past the massive amounts of pre-meds. That shut down the show. They gave me yet more benadryl and sent me home.

At roughly the half-life marker for Benadryl, I started having allergy symptoms. The hope is these don't get so bad that I end up in urgent care or the hospital. From 88mL of the second dose. (First was two weeks ago). I am so glad we stopped when we did.

And this is probably the last time I take this medication. sigh.

I am now 100% out of obsidian and moved into org (with zotero for now)

just had a vision of a tattoo down the length of my forearm. nyan cat but a dumpster fire

blog post: Rituximab round 1 is complete. https://sungo.io/posts/2026-01-rituximab-round-1/