RE: https://mastodon.social/@impactology/117356129209402452
The hard part here that I may fail at is can one be the better kinder person they wish they were even of they dont always feel that way. One is judged by how they react to others, and reacting with kindness even if it has to be forced, even if pretend, is better than just letting your negative feelings out on others. Unless you were born perfect one is going to have trauma, laziness, annoyance, contempt, whatever and have to work through that themselves as I don't think its fair to make negative feelings your partners problem to resolve. They make a distinction between annoyance, frustration and contempt but I don't see those as all that different, you only get annoyed when frustrated and have given up on either party being capable of making the interaction better, which means you are beyond curiosity and shared problem solving, I think if you are letting those feeling show then you have already failed as a person and a partner and one should always try to do their best to keep themselves under control so as not to hurt their family.
I dunno, one can only try to be the best person they can, they can't demand the same from their partner, within limits if the partner perpetrates active harm/abuse against the family.