A Ben Diagram shows all the ways @TheBreadmonkey ‘s life overlaps with yours.

Happy International #ButtholeDay ! May joy and peace fill your buttholes today.

I never seem to have enough time to do all the nothing I want to do.

The word, “acronym” is actually an acronym for “A Cheat for Remembering (Or Not) Your Message.”

Have any of you ever had an activity that was a part of your life for many years, but then one day you just stopped doing it? Maybe you were a writer, or a computer programmer, or just an avid gym rat. It could be anything.

What sparked the change? And do you ever miss it?

When the universe is only made up of black holes, none of this will matter.

Except for that one thing you did. OMG, so embarrassing.

Them: I like your fake spiderwebs for Halloween.
Me: Yes…fake…for Halloween…of course.

I know this is going to sound crazy, but what I’d most like in a printer is one where, when I tell it to print something, it prints.

Watching horror movies before bed is probably fine, right?

Them: Have you found the Lord Jesus Christ?
Me: Did he go missing?!?

I totally forgot to buy my shark a gift for Shark Week.

I already explained, I’m not wearing pants because I had a wardrobe malfunction.

When Dr. Doom does it it’s just “scrolling.”

Me to my dog:
- You don’t need to bark at everything.
- Why are you being so loud?
- They’re not trying to make you anxious.
- Not everyone is your enemy.
- Why don’t you try chilling out?

Me thinking about it later:
- Ah fuck, is this a life lesson?

I need to make napping a religion so I can practice my rituals daily under the guise of religious freedom.

That which doesn't kill you probably maimed you pretty badly.

What’s a good printer to buy that doesn’t have invasive AI on it?

#TechSupport
#Printers
#Recommendations

My father in law passed away yesterday. We were not nearby to be there for the end. It has all hit me harder than I was expecting. I’ve been helping to take care of him for over 15 years and just had stopped thinking about it. Like it was just something I did. At first we were doing it in person, and then it became remote help - setting appointments, helping with documents, medication, etc. Just trying to process it all.

Why not a Midlife Renaissance?

What’s good to take for shitposting constipation?