How come there are Pop-Tarts but no Mom-Tarts? Because of the pastryarchy.

#dadjokes

Two Gauls enter a Roman tavern and order two beers. The barkeeper brings 5.

#dadjokes

Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? He conditions it.

#dadjokes

I never believed in my chiropractor, but now I stand corrected. When I said this, my chiropractor cracked a smile. My chiropractor really has my back.

#dadjokes

Three conspiracy theorists walked into a bar.  You can't tell me that's a coincidence.

#dadjokes

Remember, no matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

#dadjokes

How do you make the number one disappear? You just add g and it's gone.

#dadjokes

What do a cigarette and hamster have in common? They are both harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

#dadjokes

Two muffins in an oven: One says to the other, "wow it's hot in here!"  The other says, "AAAAHHHHHH!! Talking muffin!!"

#dadjokes

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

#dadjokes

I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.

#dadjokes

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.