An orange man was never so crass,
As the one who was born with a silver spoon in his ass.
His obsession with status and image and gold,
left him with a soul so bitterly cold.
He'll pass one day like a lingering fart,
Having never known love or beauty or art.
Me: The glass is half full.
Them: Oh, so you're an optimist!
Me: I didn't specify what the glass was half full of.
Here in America we love our vegetables so much we let them lead the country!
They do realize the opposite of woke is asleep, right?
The reflecting pool seems to be working as intended. When I look into it I see a swamp of corruption and incompetence.
When you happen to run into your local billionaire, be sure to let them know there aren't any taxes on the sun.
Could this be the biggest TACO Tuesday ever?
It seems clear to me the devil offers some better terms than others on their deal. I'd recommend visiting a few devils and shopping around first.
Say you're dumpster diving and come across a gigantic pile of dry ice. It's like a moral imperative to dump the aforementioned solid carbon dioxide into a corporate water feature, right? Asking for a friend.
Is there a word to describe the emotional dissonance between extreme hilarity/absurdity and shit-your-pants grade fear?
We need that word.
This post is illegal in #turkey.
#MAGA = Morons, Assholes, Gangsters, and Aristocrats.
In America, everyday is April Fool's Day.
I plan on becoming the next tech billionaire, having invented an app with a button to kick tech billionaires squarely in the balls.
About half way through #CarelessPeople .. wouldn't have normally read it, but since Zuckerberg felt I shouldn't, I had no choice really...
And wow. #Facebook and its executives are exactly the type of awful I had expected they'd be.
I wrote and recorded this when I was stuck. Intellectually. Musically. Emotionally.
I'm a shit singer, so I was quite literally trying something new. I wasn't really going to release this, but my daughter convinced me it's done in its raw form. Seems to make her happy and so maybe it'll make others happy.
Here's a short film some friends and I made over the weekend. It's for the #SModcastle 37 hour film challenge (where you have 37 hours to write, film, and edit a film). We decided to go weird. I think we achieved weird and maybe told a story. I don't know, but hopefully someone likes it.