Everyone keeps on staring at my trainers. I know they're shit, but are they really that shit?

My uni when AI exists: 😸😸😸

Right now, somewhere, there's a couple working on their Elizabeth Holmes/Nathan Fielder Halloween costume

Yesterday I walked around a town with a friend, in a leisurely manner. Now my legs are dead

Starting a tgirl Rounders group

What if I could lock in for more than 15 minutes

Apprentice: "so we hand them a lottery ticket?"
Chiropractor: "call it a *complementary* lottery ticket, part of our exclusive package"
Apprentice: "which they scratch-off in the waiting room... And the ticket is a dud?"
Chiropractor: "Completely fake. They suddenly think they're a multi-millionaire, and for the first time in their life assume the posture of someone without debt."
Apprentice: "it's genius. Then what?"
Chiropractor: "we whack them in the back with this cricket bat, and

I Saw The TV Glow, but instead of the Pink Opaque it's Family Guy

My life is like a video-game 😎

All the good cosmetics are behind a paywall

I promised myself I wouldn't cry at "I Saw The TV Glow", so much so that I switched outfits to one of my favourite dresses. I still teared up though

In shadow play, or shadow puppetry, I wonder how often it ends with one character (a set of hands manipulated to imitate an animal) devouring another character (a static, but perhaps more articulated, human)

It's 10am without breakfast and I'm struggling

I'm ur faves fave 💁‍♀️

And I can't play the electric guitar, so it'll sound really really bad

My neighbours be like: "it's 5 o'clock in the morning, I've had a few drinks, great time to slam a cabinet in a fucking skip". Who the fuck are these people, I wish I could come to their house with the electric guitar and do like an A Major chord for three fucking hours between 2-5am

My ice cream is melted and I notice there isn't a pamphlet in my letterbox, so they couldn't have been too concerned for my soul

Theyve decided to organize and regroup by my house so now I'm just waiting. I can't even walk to my door cause I just passed them a minute ago

My ice cream is gonna melt

Jehovah's witnesses at the door, so I just kept on walking and I'm gonna have to go once round the block so to speak

Going to buy ice cream and a chocolate bar and grate chocolate into ice cream