selfie from earlier today while i was on my way home from work

if a scammer deposits a large amount of money into your bank, you should be allowed to just walk away with that monies instead of being legally required to send it back

i wish there were a way to tell youtube "im burnt out on this content for now, but please show it to me again in a month"

capitalists: socialism means i gotta share 😭
also capitalists: just think of the shareholders! 😭

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robot girl who runs on unpatched php

no wonder some of these packages are so heavy

RE: https://woem.men/notes/asld6gtd99rk05v7

there must be a black hole at work. time always seems to move more slowly there

atleast it wasnt something weird. ngl, i was kinda panicked when i saw the brown liquids all over myself and the floor

heckin' hazmat rushed over and scanned the package for the manifest. "oh, its just diet pepsi!"

RE: https://woem.men/notes/as8tlo51gatw05l3

if you ordered a package of diet pepsi, that order is now all over me

thanks. now i have to take out PTO so i can go home and change out of these sticky clothes

tl;dr -- I'm no longer offering forgiveness for what happened almost two years ago now. I need to move on, and that means I can't keep opening the door when people want back into my life. The best thing for me to do at this point is to lock the door permanently and walk away.

--

Every couple of months, I get a message in my DMs from someone I haven't heard from in a while. Some are vague, forcing me to read between the lines, some are more direct with what they're saying. Some try to avoid accountability, some take accountability. But they all tend to hold the same essence: Regret over what happened / recognition that they believed and sided with the wrong people / a wish to reconnect, but worry that I'll reject them.

And sure, those messages feel affirming. But none of them offer the impossible: Neither reparations, nor an understanding of the lived experience I went through. It's only forgiveness that's sought, without so much as an attempt at either in most cases.

As much as I'd like to be selfless and offer forgiveness to anyone who asks, I've realized it's turned into a prison. If it were limited to one or two individuals, sure, I could take those steps to try to rebuild things. But the issue is that it's so so many people who have harmed me.

I can forgive the crowd, but as soon as a single individual reaches out, that individual has become their own entity. I need to do the emotional labor of trying to figure out if I can ever trust this person again, reliving the past to piece together exactly how I was hurt and to try to restore that connection. For the individual, I'm one person they'd like to rebuild a bridge with. For me, there are many, many individuals who want to rebuild bridges.

And, let's be honest, these newly restored bridges don't end up meaning anything for me. For the individual seeking forgiveness, they've received that, and now have access to my DMs again. But for me? I've changed as a person drastically in the past two years. When one becomes an outcast, their life tends to change direction: their interests and personality grows apart from those who pushed them away. To do otherwise would be to hold onto a life that's no longer meant to be. And so, because of the drift, those rebuilt bridges don't get used, eventually fading to time.

I've started to realize that I can't keep doing this. I can't relive those painful memories and trauma every couple of months. The only way for me to move on is to stop forgiving.

If you've already reconnected, you don't need to worry. I've already done the emotional labor of rebuilding that bridge, and I do appreciate you for reaching out. But if you haven't by now, unless fate naturally pulls us back together, or you're somehow actually wanting/able to provide concrete reparations, I don't see a reason to reconnect.

I hope that you have a good life, wherever you may be headed in your future.

ive seen enough people go through the "nobody -> becoming popular -> becoming full of themselves -> feeling like they're invincible -> cancelled" cycle to think it should be studied and written about in psychology

(quoting to pin)

RE: https://fedi.engelise.online/ap/users/116800257752110803/statuses/117371799168814180

yknow those seconds right before a car accident when you realize you fucked up?

no worries! if you hit the brake the instant before colliding, you can parry the vehicle youre about to collide with! then follow up with a counter attack! just make sure you get your timing right!

if you ever think that being laid off means you deserved it somehow...

don't forget that song also cut funding for Kojima's upcoming game over a zoom call

corpos are genuinely clueless about what a good business choice is

we got kicked out of a bar... because i had a backpack

yknow, i dont think this would be a thing if we had proper gun control in the US

tornados are when the sky gets hungy
hurricanes are when the sky gets thirsty

its okay bro
snorts more AI
just one more hit
snorts
itll help me figure out how to get out of my AI addiction
snorts AI

someone should teach a simulated fruit fly brain to post on fedi

the US went from waterboarding and electrocuting state terrorists in order to hallucinate bad intel

to waterboarding and electrocuting sand in order to hallucinate bad intel