They had a bunch of guitars at the Goodwill. I tuned them all, because I'm a humanitarian.

Why is 'disillusioned' considered a negative word? It means that you are no longer operating under false assumptions.

Anyway, happy 9/11 everybody.

Motherfuckers. What do think I'm looking at?

Traffic getting a little crazy? Report police in the area on Google Maps.

They say you have to crack some eggs to make an omelet, but this cracks all the eggs, then kills the chickens, while sending taunting ai generated memes to the chicken farmer.

And a billionaire eats all the omelets

https://katu.com/news/local/massive-51b-data-center-proposed-for-salem-draws-praise-and-pushback-oregon-environment-local-money-water-energy-local-portland-hillsboro-companies-business-jobs

I use my shopvac to empty my roomba

How will South Carolina find another one like Lyndsey Graham?

RE: https://mastodon.social/@cartoonclub/116783699389455984

Just two ai cats hanging out.

Some people think that if time travel were possible, it would send the traveler to a parallel universe, but if two universes were truly parallel , wouldn't that parallel universe also send their own time traveler to our universe?

And if these universes were swapping bodies, wouldn't they bounce off each other in the middle?

Then one day, after he had finished counting his money, the idea came to him that he could get all the golden eggs at once by killing the Goose and cutting it open.

I know a lot of people have said it already, but I'm saying it too. CBS/Paramount are never getting another thin dime from me after cancelling Colbert.

Never.

I want my money back

These mittens fit like a glove

We stopped using lithography to make books and now we use it to make computer chips.

Salem attorney slapped with record fine after citing case law hallucinated by AI - Salem Reporter https://www.salemreporter.com/2026/03/25/salem-attorney-slapped-with-record-fine-after-citing-case-law-hallucinated-by-ai/

It looks like the instructors at Portland Community College in Oregon will be going on strike later today. They were scheduled to announce the decision at 10:30am, but in a preemptive action, management has closed campuses.

Presumably so there won't be thousands of angry students on hand to support their teachers.

Wanna go to a mixer?

This seems dangerous.
What if the engines stall?

This state sponsored terrorism needs to stop immediately
https://www.opb.org/article/2026/01/08/ice-utility-workers-gresham-oregon/