I wish I'd written "Straighten Up and Fly Right."

Anticipating more tariffs this winter to punish Canada for polar vortices.

I can't work today because my password is too long.

Waking up is hard to do

The Onion always has the best business ideas!

Profits Soar As Taylor Farms Rebrands As Biological Weapons Manufacturer

https://theonion.com/profits-soar-as-taylor-farms-rebrands-as-biological-weapons-manufacturer/

Am I upset because my stomach is upset, or is my stomach upset because I'm upset?

I think we should stop calling it a ballroom and start calling it by it's true purpose: a bunker.

Subsequent thoughts:
Fulcrum is a funny word.
What does it mean?
How do you spell it?
What day is it today?

My first thought this morning:
the ear is the fulcrum of the head.

My fortune cookie didn't have a fortune in it.

I am unfortunate.

I'm so hungry, but I'm too cold to get out of bed.

States have the right to investigate state crimes, and murder is a state crime.

Time may be an illusion, but I find it pretty darn convincing.

Problem: You have your printer listed twice for some reason, only one of them works, and you can never remember which one
Solution: Delete both and re-add the printer
Results: You have three copies of your printer listed

NO DEAD CATS ON CATERDAY

Why do I suspect that Kennedy's cure for autism is a bullet?

https://apnews.com/article/autism-trump-kennedy-tylenol-acetaminophen-7ebaf91e80b93f605899cefd66ac0eb2

If we ever throw off the shackles of Republicanism, we should make DC and Puerto Rico (if they want) states in the next Congress.

I don't want a snack; I want a nap.

(I'm so tired that in my head, that rhymes)

46° F. Maybe I can turn the a/c off.

I can't go to work today. It's raining and I'm sleepy.