RE: https://social.europlus.zone/@europlus/117493772905894059
Dear #ActuallyAutistic siblings.
Firstly, I ask that you repost this if it strikes a chord to any degree (or even if it doesn’t, please help a spectrum brother out).
Secondly, if you have thoughts, resources, or experience with this, please reply.
I’ve been sitting with how icky (literally) I have felt since doing this recruitment exercise.
I was given two questions, where I have to sit in my home, answering as if I’m in front of someone, with no one in front of me, just my computer, recording me, with my camera output on the screen.
Two chances per question to answer, but that almost made it worse – if I fuck up the first shot, what if I fuck up the second?
No direct feedback from another person.
And a deep and abiding sense that if I do fuck up, a word, an expression, a sentence, I am not with a fellow imperfect human being allowing me to regroup. To rephrase. To truly restart.
Just take that second shot and hope it doesn’t happen again.
I have spent 55+ years interpreting the responses of those around me (admittedly not always successfully), but like most (all?) maskers, I do better with someone human, ND or not, in front of me, and certainly not feeling like I’m fucking talking to the mirror.
Am I wrong to feel this is anti-spectrum (I honestly feel it’s anti-human, but that’s a *whole* other level). Am I just over-worrying about a simple “cog in the recruitment wheel we all need to get past”.
Is there any data on this sort of thing at all?
