Realising the thing about being on text-based social media platforms is you get used to people typing complete sentences that reveal their personalities so you forget most people IRL and by extension on dating apps either write nothing, "just ask", or use three vague emojis in their one and only bio
Thank you @CountBinface for putting up a real challenge and standing for democracy, I'm sorry that the joke candidate got in.
“Binface received 9 455 votes to Mr Farage’s 22 239.
““I can officially say that I am the winning candidate of the candidates who bothered to turn up for the results,” he says.
““We know this for a fact. Over one in four people in this constituency would rather have #CountBinface as their MP than the leader of #ReformUK, and I’m just getting started.””
sorry ive been missing in action lately, but i try to avoid action
“Looks like your ad blocker is on”
Yeah, looks like it.
No ragrets.
Camel case is very important because I just came across a post with #whoremembers and I got excited because I thought it was #WhoreMembers until I realized it's just #WhoRemembers.
A vote for Count Binface is:
-A vote to save the taxpayer the money that would have been spent on a second parliamentary by-election once Farage is expelled from Parliament
-A vote against corruption
-A vote for a better Clacton
-A vote for an MP who will spend more time in Clacton than the USA
-A vote against the far-right
-A vote for equality
#Clacton #VoteBinface #fuckfarage #ukpol #clactonbyelection #countbinface #binface4clacton
every vendor presentation ever
Dentist: So, do you floss?
Me: Do you use a unique password for every account?
The probability of a small part going behind a workbench is proportional to the weight of the workbench and inversely proportional to the part’s ferromagneticity. #ThursdayThoughts
I once heard an astrophysicist on Radio 4 opine that if alien species did exist and had interstellar travel, like in science fiction, then Earth would be famous throughout the galaxy for its solar eclipses; beings would come as tourists to Earth to behold this marvellous cosmic coincidence: a single moon which is exactly the right size in the sky to cover the solar system’s sun, leaving just a tiny ring of light while all around, the sky goes dark
I hope today that nobody has been looking directly at The Sun.
Also while you're at it, avoid The Telegraph, The Daily Express, The Daily Mail, and The Spectator.
Opted for the colander method of eclipse viewing
Your last saved meme is now you moral philosophy
Mehdi Meets Count Binface
"Count Binface aims to break the mold of your usual British politician. His policies range from capping the price of Flake ice cream at 99p to forcing politicians who resign mid-parliament to face a by-election.
To be clear, this is not a joke - though, as you’ll see, Mehdi Hasan does struggle to keep a straight face throughout the interview.
Major parties in the UK have chosen to boycott the Clacton election and have denounced Farage's re-election bid, which he recently launched after quitting parliament amid investigations into his finances, as a political stunt.
This, hilariously, bizarrely, has cleared a path for Count Binface and his cape to score a superhero landing in many major headlines around the world, with his silver face now seen almost everywhere."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tttcl2Va_Zk #UKpol #UK #Satire #BinItToWinIt
Two years into the world's most complicated board game, masochist gamers "still don't understand what the camels do":
“20 months after this folly began, they are finally done with the six-turn practice scenario, and are ready for the entire 111-turn war. […]
“Sessions where all the two did was move trucks around in preparation for later fun, are described as low points of the gameplay, though they do say they enjoyed the dogfights during the air phase.
“[…] Apparently they aren't experienced wargamers, citing Risk as the only game like this they've ever played. Their website says they're going to continue out of sheer bloody-minded stubbornness, though, even if it takes the rest of their mortal lives.”
https://www.wargamer.com/board-games/the-campaign-for-north-africa-two-years
I was enthralled by office swivel chairs when I was little. I thought that "unwinding at the end of a day" meant they spun people around backwards the same number of times people spun forwards during the day.