Amongst the repeated, unsolicited sales pitch emails like "In case you missed my earlier message" (no I am ignoring you), I find one that each message has a different closing:
"Not relevant? Reply 'unsubscribe' and I’ll make like socks in the dryer and vanish from your inbox."
"Not your thing? Reply 'stop' and I’ll take you off my list quicker than you can hit delete."
"Want to opt out? Reply 'stop' and I'll re-evaluate my decision to go into sales."
Credits for humor (still ignoring)

