I had a threesome with a scalene and an isosceles.

It was a love triangle.

Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

In 1969, a group of three former military officers led an invasion of Earth's nearest peaceful neighbor in space. At the end of their eight-day mission, nobody was left alive on the moon...

I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

Three Hundred Investigations. Twenty-Eight Answers. https://thesixthlense.com/article/three-hundred-investigations-twenty-eight-answers

The Israeli Defense Forces have perfected a strategy of announcing investigations that vanish into a bureaucratic abyss.

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Why did 7 eat 9? Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar.

I know because they told me.

Why did the sad ghost use an elevator? To lift his spirits.

5/4 of people admit that they're bad with fractions.

Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than throwing them a surprise party.

I can't figure out why Marvel hasn't put any advertisements on the Incredible Hulk.
He's basically a giant banner.

I ordered a chicken and an egg off of Amazon.
I'll let you know which comes first.

Shout out to anyone who doesn't know what the opposite of in is.

Why was Darth Vader referred to as Lord Vader?
Because Master Vader made the stormtroopers giggle...

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K, and 1MB.
That was a trip down memory lane!

I learned something about my car when I crashed into a tree:

My Mercedes Benz.

Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?

No, son.

Policeman: Whose car is this? Where are you going? What do you do?

Miner: Mine.

My wife has started using wireless bras.

It's tricky enough as it is; now I need a password?